Story
One can bear anything if one can put it in a story. - Isak Dinesen
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easy resolve
The quick fix. The no-hassle solution. The simple way out. Do these exist? I just want one situation in my life – one impossible situation in my life – to have an easy resolve. (I don’t even care which problem, really. Pick any of them.) Kind of like a Get out of Jail Free card in Monopoly. One easy resolve. And I just slap that orange card down and say, “there.” Resolved. Easy. Does anything work like that? 37 years of life tells me the answer. No. No, nothing works like that. Problems do not have quick fixes. Issues are not speedily mended. Solutions do not materialize out of the…
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Autopilot
Have you ever driven some route, some route so familiar, that when you reach your destination you cannot even remember the path you took to get there? You know you must have taken a right at the gas station but you do not even recall seeing the gas station? It is as if you are on autopilot. That’s me. That’s today. That’s been this week. I see that it’s Friday. I know Monday must have occurred. Clearly I went to bed four nights since then and awoke four mornings. But I don’t recall any of them. The kids are not malnourished and our math worksheets have been completed but I…
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There And Back Again: Or The Post In Which I Ramble On and Include Far Too Many Links
Last week me and this guy got on a jet plane. And flew to Chicago. By ourselves. (And like 150 other passengers, but I think you knew what I meant.) We were almost late for the flight because two of the three long term parking lots at the Charlotte airport were closed. But we raced into the terminal, shucked off our shoes, unloaded our overstuffed carry-ons and cleared through that x-ray business. Except when we didn’t. Kevin was watching the x-ray view of the bags pop up on the computer screen and he nudged me, “Hey – look at that bag. Somebody brought in a knife.” “What? Who would do…
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Half Way. But Not Quite.
It has been happening all month. Ever since I learned about charity:water. Ever since I wrote about charity:water. Ever since we told our kids about charity:water. Ever since we showed the kids a video from charity:water. I am constantly noticing water. How much I drink every day. (Like way more than my eight glasses.) (And it’s always cold.) (And ice is always available.) How often I leave the tap water running while cleaning the kitchen. (It’s a bad habit for so many reasons. I got it.) How much I pour down the drain at bath time. (The kids got super dusty while playing in the dirt while attending Riley’s first…
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A Little Like Me
My children say some crazy things. Out of nowhere, Mosely commented, “Wouldn’t it be weird if a witch came here right now and turned Bergen into a dog?” (Where’s that kid learning about witches and how powerful does she think they are?) Or Bergen wondering out loud, “Wouldn’t it be funny if all shoes were made out of sausages?” And I actually like to hear these bizarre-o statements escape their lips. Because I like laughing. But it’s the sweet, unexpectedly kind and thoughtful comments that really shape my heart. Brushing Scout’s much-longer-than-I-realized hair, I began telling her how much her current seven-year-old self resembled my former seven-year-old self. (It’s uncanny,…
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remember
You know how sometimes you just want a sign for what you should do? You ask God to make it clear what direction to move or to let you know what He would have you to do or how He would have you act or whatever? You know how we pray like that? (Or, I pray like that.) But then we (or, wait – I) don’t even look for the signs that I just finished asking for? I don’t even listen for the voice. I don’t keep my eyes peeled (as my kids say) for what God is showing me. Do you ever do that? Well. Okay. This isn’t about…
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Alone
It was late. I was lonely. I called my brother. And we talked. And that was nice. We talked about things and stuff and all that. But as I was talking and as I was listening another part of me simultaneously was realizing that although I was reaching out trying to connect through distance and space and time (another time zone) and the miracle that all that really is I realized that I was trying to avoid being alone. To stave off loneliness. But I couldn’t. Because really I actually am all alone. We all are. All Alone. Right now. In the end. Here. Then. Always. Alone. When we…
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universal.
Our little (as in the children are mostly small, although the number of them is not – alright?) family was eating street side recently at a favorite wood-fired pizza joint. ( Side note: I like eating outside at restaurants. 1. Our noise level seems less obvious out of doors. 2. Our mess level seems less obvious out of doors. 3. The kids seem more entertained out of doors. 4. Fox can stay in his stroller and there is plenty of space to park that big rig out of doors. ) Oh – and I like people watching. Which is what I was doing when I saw a…
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I Can & I Can’t. I Will & I Won’t.
Dear My Children, I can’t or I won’t pay the full cost of your first car. Your father and I probably won’t be footing the bill for your entire college education. The latest fashions at Abercrombie (or fill-in-blank-overpriced-popular-store-at-your-appropriate-age) won’t be paid for out of my debit card. I might not be able to afford one hundred percent locally grown, organic foods from the Whole Foods market for every meal. I can’t promise to answer “yes” to every question of “Can I?” that you will inevitably present to me. You will have opportunities that you will have to miss. Parties you will not be allowed to attend. You will hear the…
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The Thing With Feathers
Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm. I’ve heard it in the chilliest land And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me. – Emily Dickinson Oh Emily. You might have been a tad eccentric. You were probably lonely. But you know a thing or two about hope, don’t you? Hope. It’s a bit of a dangerous thing really, isn’t it? The thing with…
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Steady
Sometimes keeping a house remotely neat or tidy when eight people share that house is a nearly impossible task. Nearly. Impossible. And there are days when I feel as if all I do is clean one room and then move to another room. And the second I exit the clean room some inanimate object explodes and destroys all of my productivity before anyone can even rejoice in it momentarily. Really. The other night I took Wilder out of his booster seat at the kitchen table where he had just dumped his bowl of peaches on the floor (peaches = sticky madness) plus his container of chicken and couscous. I carried…
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there & back
It is always late when I write this blog. And I am usually sleepy. But I might be even more sleepy than usual. Because I’ve been adventuring – you know? Against all odds, my pal and former college roomie Beth and I met together in the mountains of North Carolina for some Girl Adventures. I feel confident that I will revisit this experience in future posts, when I am less sleepy and it is less late. I happened to arrive at our rustic-chic resort before Beth and I found myself with some things I am not very familiar with. Alone time. Silence. Freedom of choice. (I know I will delve…
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running makes me think
I think the fact that I am finding running to be a Good Idea For Me is for three basic reasons. And those are . . . 1. If I exercise more, I can eat more. And I, like my little Scout, enjoy food. I like Cadbury Cream Eggs. And mashed potatoes, crusty bread dipped in olive oil, red velvet cake, grilled cheese sandwiches served with scrambled eggs, Riley’s hand crafted peach crepes, Kevin’s (and Leanne’s) salsa with multi-grain chips, strawberry jam, Mellow Mushroom pizza, Thaicoon spring rolls and pasta any way you toss it. 2. When I run I have the freedom to think. I’m running. I cannot do…
