How To Enjoy A Corn Maze

1. Bring along a lot of your pals. And the children of those pals.

2. Approach the barn area so indecisively and scattered looking that an employee intercepts your gang and asks why you look so out of place.

3. Underestimate the vastness of the many acre corn maze before you and allow children free range to run as they please.

4. Realize the corn maze is larger and more complex than at first was recognized and try to run to catch up with your wayward crew.

5. Leave behind the one mom with the stroller to push through the rough dirt paths.

6. Toss the weakest link on your shoulders to both increase your speed and increase your vantage point in hopes of spying the children of the corn as they run amuck.

7. Run across the left behind mom and express your apologies for leaving her to fend for herself in the first place.

8. Laugh as she confesses, “This is hysterically funny. I only tried to find you guys after I took the time to post my lost status on Facebook and take some cute photos of my daughter.”

9. Make contact with the errant children.

10. Wind your way out of the maze and fall over with joy at the exit.

11. Count heads and discover that several beloved children are still MIA. Become alarmed that two of the late arrivers are the two youngest who most need supervision. Be grateful to discover each three year old brother is lost with an older sister.

12. Grow impressed with the cleverness of one nine year old to use her umbrella as a creative means of seeing her amid the tall stalks of corn.

13. Celebrate the safe arrival of every family member at the corn maze’s exit.