another still, small voice.
Does anyone else ever do this?
Does anyone else ever
battle
that still, small voice?
No, I don’t mean the
still small voice
of God.
Not that one.
(That voice is for embracing, not for battling.)
I mean the other voice.
The exact opposite, actually.
That one that sounds more like,
I don’t know,
more like myself I guess.
Just a really rotten myself.
It’s the voice that speaks to you at all the worst moments.
At the last minute a friend changes plans the two of you had made.
Her reason is completely logical.
Her kids are sick or her car is making a weird noise or an unexpected expense knocked your plans out of the picture.
You believe her.
You’ve had the same exact problems yourself.
But that small voice says something else.
It whispers, “She doesn’t want to spend time with you. ”
“You are not interesting.”
“She has better, funnier, prettier, smarter friends.”
Your husband doesn’t notice your new hair cut. Or your new shirt. Or shoes. Whatever.
You know he has only been home for about thirty-two minutes and the kids have been swarming him for almost twenty-four of those minutes.
But that voice still whispers, “You look ridiculous.”
“This haircut is too short. The shirt accentuates all of your bad features. Your shoes look like clown shoes.”
The situations can come in a dozen varieties.
But the little whispers are always the same tone.
Negative.
“You’re fat. You’re ugly. You’re too loud. You’re too quiet.”
Basically, the voice says to you, “You are wrong. You are not enough.”
Have you heard that voice?
Do you listen to it?
What do you do to quiet the whisper, to drown out the bad and focus on the truth?
16 Comments
Amy Holmes
Years ago, I heard a missionary to Nigeria say, “praise brings us back to a position of faith.” She was right. In those moments (unless I’m so far off the deep end I can see nothing but myself), I bring the ‘sacrifice of praise,’ and then I find myself once again, standing on the Rock.
laceykeigley
“The sacrifice of praise”
I really do like that thought.
nikkie
if there is anything that can quiet that voice in my head it's the Word. memorizing it. soaking it up like a sponge. so that when (and it happens every day) the voice starts in on me, i have a weapon to use for battle.
it has become my refuge.
Cindy
In those moments…..most often after a little self-pity….I listen to the Truth until I actually, honestly believe it. Sometimes it takes a while. When that happens, I try to rest in the assurance of the promise that as a child of God, the Truth will always triumph. Now, that doesn't mean my feelings always line up with what I know to be the Truth. They often take a while longer to line up with the Truth. By the way, I think you are awesome!! Ephesians 2:10
LaceyKeigley
Truth. Truth. Truth.
I should get that on a tattoo or something.
Oh, yeah. I already did.
Maybe I should just look at my wrist more often.
Good advice Cindy – thank you.
Allie P
Mark and I are always talking about how we need to always think the best of each other, of our friends. Never assume wrong motives. We fight a lot less when we are aware of that. Love each other more. Forgive easier.
And I've learned a lot about speaking truth to myself when believing a lie is so much easier. That's something that's new to me in the past few years though. But staying gospel focused, that totally helps. Who am I to assume motives or doubt and fear when God sent his SON to die for me, so that I can trust Him completely–with eternity, with living life now. And when God looks on me, He sees Christ's righteousness, not my filth. When I stop to think about that in my times of self-pity or falsely assuming someone's motives, it always stops me dead on. In light of GRACE, none of that matters. Only HIS opinion of me matters. And HE–well, He see's His Son's righteousness. So then…I'm just thankful. So overwhelmed with gratitude. And it's so meager an action, but I try.
And FYI, you are one of those people I'd LOVE to hang out with. For days on end I think. Just to get to know you. =)
LaceyKeigley
I love that Allie – trying to think the best instead of assuming the worst. Noone really wins when we assume the worst.
And yes, in light of grace…. how that shapes all things.
I would like to hang out with you too!
Stacy Finnigan
This may or may not be exactly what my therapist and I spent our last session talking about. Exactly.
It is so hard to fight because there is a tiny bit of truth. My friends DO have funnier, prettier, better friends than I.
I have no idea how to effectively get rid of it. I'll let you know, after my next session. Which will be a couple weeks because of funds…
LaceyKeigley
Hmm.
Maybe I should pay for your therapy so you can come give your therapy knowledge back to me.
It is always the tiny bit of truth that is the struggle. You know?
And of course, one of our problems certainly is that we care so deeply about what we THINK our friends think when we should care so deeply about what we know God thinks.
Claygirlsings
This is good, Lacey. Of course, listening to that voice is not good. I wonder if it's something that men deal with or is it primarily women who have that negative voice running through their heads?
LaceyKeigley
That's a good question.
I guess men probably have similar concerns but maybe over different topics – like acceptance or failure?
Lauren C
All. the. time.
For me, this is the fight of faith. Do I believe the lie and let it completely redirect my day/attitude/responses or do I fight to replace that voice with the words of my Savior who is making me (partly through the process of fighting this very battle) to be a dazzling bride for HImself?
To remember that all of my expectations, good desires gone bad, pity-parties, and sullen, self-protecting attitudes are covered under the blood!
To FIGHT for joy because he’s already WON! And because of the sacrifice of my Jesus, even in my most disgusting moments, He sees me as radiant as the snow we got a few weeks ago! Not the crunched in, muddy, neighbor’s-dog-had-potty-break-and-left-a-stain snow… the top layer after the ice that just glistened!
Sometimes that means reviewing a verse over and over in my head until it sinks in…. I’ve got little cards all over my house because I need it so often..I LOVE your sharpie idea… we’re renters, otherwise I’d be all ova that!
My greatest struggle in this is constantly pursuing Him…b/c I don’t know about you, but sometimes He gives grace to overcome one minute, and you just revel and are excited at the evidence of grace in a moment of victory….aaaaaannnnddd then something else triggers that all too familiar voice to pipe up again.. then I get lazy. I don’t want to review the promises and hope AGAIN. Partly because I feel like a failure on top of the failure for needing it AGAIN, and partly because I just don’t want to go through the trouble of it.
Jason calls it spiritual anorexia… we wouldn’t feel guilty, and beat ourselves up for needing to eat dinner because we already ate breakfast! Pretty silly thought, and yet spiritually that’s how I view my nourishment…
Really, each of those moments aren’t something to necessarily get frustrated by, though that’s our natural response. They’re opportunities to run to our Savior! They are moments that HE’s allowing to bring to mind our need for HIM!
I’ll end this monstrosity of a response with a quote from a book that I’m reading by Ed Welch.. It’s on fear and worry but it totally applies here to our struggle.
“Fear and worry are reminders. Better yet, they’re opportunities. They are a string around your finger reminding you that you can trust the Creator God who hears, cares, and acts. They are opportunities to know God better.”
LaceyKeigley
Opportunities to know God better. I think I believe that.
I have certainly found that God continues to leave a few open-ended situations in my life and all i can do is trust and lean.
I guess that's opportunity – eh?
Thank you for your response.
And for your walls – you could also do scrapbook pages with cute prints and write the verses in Sharpie on those and stick them to your wall with poster putty. Not quite as fun but still cute and up there to look at every day.
quietgracesphotography
I battled that voice ferociously yesterday. I actually spent 10 minutes crying on the floor while my kiddos attempted to both stuff pacifiers in my mouth and suffocate me with their tushes all at the same time. I think what's key for me it to talk to Someone or someone who utters the truth to me. If I don't know of Word to combat my exact feeling then I call someone who might know the Word for that feeling. I actually want to write bible verses that combat that feeling all over my pocked and marred bedroom wall. I just can't figure out how to do it neatly… 😉
LaceyKeigley
You know, I think you are exactly right . . . about calling someone.
But how hard is that for you?
For me, it\’s so tricky. because it creates all new things for the voice to say and for me to think noone wants to hear about all that.
And as for the verses – I love that idea.
Who cares if it is messy?
I painted huge red circles all along our bathroom wall and wrote the verses inside the circles with a sharpie.
Mary Hess
Yeah.
I hate that voice.
Unfortunately, I listen to it way more than I ignore it.
We so easily believe anything the enemy whispers in our ear.
And usually that's because of past hurts, issues that haven't been healed inside of us, and the fact that it takes a lot for us to really, really believe we are accepted and we are enough- just.like.we.are.
Great post. Love your heart, my friend.