what a long, strange trip it’s been. emphasis on the “long”.

It seems we like adventure lately.

Or something like that.

And I guess it wasn’t enough to drive three hours into the mountains of Georgia last week with five young children.

Nope.

Not enough.

I am a glutton for punishment I suppose.

I threw in one more kid (totaling six, in case you’re counting) and tossed in about triple the drive time and we all headed to Florida.

Let me break the trip down for you into easily digestible categories and lists.

The Miracle

On a nine-plus hour trip no one had to stop for an unscheduled bathroom break.  No one.  Not one of the seven passengers requested the bathroom.  Ever.  If you have ever traveled more than thirty minutes in a car filled with kids you know that this does indeed qualify as miraculous.

The Truly Terrible

Two stand-still traffic situations resulting in one entire hour of little to no car movement at all.  Ninety percent of the excruciatingly long drive we were plowing through a monsoon.  Torrential, yes torrential, rainfall pelted our car.  The chaos outside was practically deafening, making it nearly impossible to talk or to listen to music or to focus on anything but steering straight ahead.

The Not Exactly Terrible But Not Very Pleasant Either

Approximately every sixth mile Wilder would let out an ear drum bursting scream.  Apparently he did not care for being strapped down for the entire course of a day.  And did he sleep on this trip?  Oh, maybe for half an hour.

The Insightful

A conversation about heaven was particularly enlightening.  Bergen cannot wait until heaven so he can ride a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  London says heaven will be great because Otto won’t be crying there.  And Bergen added another factor for which we can all rejoice together in heaven, “Piper won’t be mean anymore.  She won’t hit anyone and she’ll always be kind.” 

The Disobedient

Piper Finn discovered that while buckled into her car seat she could not wield much control over her circumstances.  This forced her to be creative.  She found a new way to attempt a power play – by pulling hair.  Clearly not acceptable behavior.  However, Piper Finn was already aware of that.  I would reprimand her from the front seat by saying, “Piper.  Do not pull your sister’s hair.  That is unkind.”  She would consistently respond, “I know that.”

Desperate Parenting Choices

After Piper was made aware of her sin issues and had acknowledged them but refused to alter her behavior, I made a parenting choice.  It might have been a poor one borne of frustration, exhaustion and cabin fever.  I gave reign to vigilantism in the backseat.  “Mosely, every time Piper pulls your hair you may smack her leg.”  It was not the best choice.  I get that.  But it did the trick.  Piper quit pulling hair after the first infraction.