school planning over here …

I’ve spent the last two days deeply immersed in academic planning. Yes, for my own classroom of students here at Wildwood. And for my classroom of students in the Writing and Literature class I teach at Meadowlark. It’s been pretty exhausting. It always is. But this year it seems extra . . . unsettling. Because we all know (now more than ever) that plans are just ideas we hope get to happen like we wish they would. And we ALL know that plans never one hundred percent travel along the rails we’re laying down, but right now it all feels pretty train wrecked anyway. And I don’t love the act of planning if it’s all going to implode tomorrow in some form or fashion.

Regardless, I now have a basic grasp on what subjects my students need to conquer and on what novels I plan to teach and what structure I hope to follow. I have chosen most of the means to get to those ends. (Except my Arch Nemesis – I’m looking at YOU, Math.)

And you know what? On paper – this plan looks alright. It looks like a decent one.

You know what else it looks like?

It looks just about one hundred percent different than any other year. I’ve spent more than a decade with school looking a bit similar each day and each year, with a sweet (ish) gathering of kids around me in the morning to start our day with Bible verses and breakfast and a poem, with a chapter of a read aloud for all of us to share. Generally we sat around the table or across sofas and floors, in each other’s space most of the days. We often had tea or read aloud time in the afternoon. Gone are the days of Legos pulled out and quiet creating while I escorted us to Narnia or the Shire.

My heart could almost break at the missing of All That Precious.

When I think of homeschool – it’s what I remember best and most fondly.

This next year the schedule will need to be written down. Transportation needs are critical. If any of our plans do take place there will be dual enrollment classes at a local college and classes at a charter school and classes at a co op and classes at an art studio. There is not one single subject that all five of the kids will be partaking together. And this is the very first year that is true. Even last year we pulled together for some sort of joint history, even if it just meant we were in the same time period with kids reading their own age appropriate versions. This year, even that ends.

It’s okay. I am excited for the changes for my kids. I think these are good decisions – meant for their growth and their education.

But it’s also a little sad too. Good grief – it is always the Both And.

I wouldn’t know what to do if life tasted any other way than bittersweet.

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