making music (and art) accessible

I’m tone deaf.

It’s true.

And it’s almost tragic.

Just tonight, after leaving church, I asked the kids, “If you had to pick to be really great at singing or at acting, which would you prefer?”

I think I’d pick singing. Because, even if no one else ever enjoyed it, you could entertain yourself. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to sing beautifully and on key and all that?

Well, maybe you can already do that.

But I sure can’t.

And I don’t play any musical instruments either.

Again – it’s a shame.

But here I am, all talentless in these realms.

Here’s a rabbit trail. (I’m excellent at rabbit trails. Just ask my students.)

Once upon a time, a time when I was a married person, I attended church with said spouse. He was employed at the church as a youth minister. Occasionally he played guitar at this church. Sometimes he even sang. At a particular evening service, he played a beautiful rendition of “How Great Thou Art” on the piano, an instrument no one at church knew he could use.

This church was primarily populated with older people. One sweet lady found her way to me after the service where he played the piano. She sought me out. She took me by the hand. She looked directly into my eyes.

And she said,

“Oh, honey. It must be wonderful to live with a man who is so talented. What can you do?”

True story.

Anyway, what I can’t do is play music or sing on key.

What I can do is create an environment where my kids can enjoy and appreciate music despite my personal deficiencies.

Last year I attended a talk at a homeschool convention. It was being led by Andrew Peterson and Jonathan Rogers. (Here’s a rabbit trail for you to read about the time I told Andrew Peterson my kids didn’t like his music.)

During a Q&A session, someone in the audience asked the men if they required their children to be creative – artistically or musically. They both replied saying that they did not push creativity on their children. They didn’t force lessons or long sessions in a studio. But what they did do was to create an environment where music and art was welcome, accessible, convenient.

I’ve thought about that a lot. Every home has a culture. Some you pick. Some you don’t.

I’m not at the start of my homeschooling or my parenting journey.

And I can look back and see a whole plethora of rights and wrongs. Or better and bests.

One thing I did manage to do, from the start, was to cultivate a home where art and creativity, where books and reading, were loved and invited. Kids had books accessible always. The library was routinely visited. Art supplies were readily available. I almost always said yes to creating. Hot glue guns. Pipe cleaners. Crayons. Watercolor. Even those blasted perler beads that inevitability fell into every crack and crevice.

For me, those were easy yeses. I have a higher tolerance for mess than some moms do. I understand that.

But as I listened to those speakers, I realized that I hadn’t worked very hard on creating a space where music experimentation was valued. I hated the recorders and that might have been my kids only exposure to music.

We did trudge through classical music appreciation and we tried our hand here and there at random music lessons. But mostly the music in my house was what I liked. A strictly Avett, Indigo Girls, Wood Brothers sort of sound track.

When I left that conference I placed a tiny note in the back of my brain and I decided that I would be on the lookout for an opportunity to let music find its way into our home. As the kids have grown, their tastes in music has developed independently and, of course, influenced by friends and family and culture. Currently the Rolling Stones and Twenty One Pilots, John Denver and the Okee Dokee Brothers are all played frequently.

For Christmas London received a record player and a ukulele. Both of which were rather popular gifts here.  As their music progresses, it’s a chance to look into other tech items that can improve their play. For example, you can Check Out the Latest Loop Pedal here.

When a Facebook post revealed that a neighboring family had an old piano they were happy to part with, I saw that as a prime opportunity to make music even more accessible at our home.

Through kind friends who gave up their mornings to haul a piano on the back of a truck down the road and hoist it back into our home, we now have a (recently tuned) piano in the living room.

It’s just there. Available.

And kids walk by and play it.

Piper has taught herself some tunes from La La Land. London has been playing music I actually recognize even though I can’t identify. Recently she taught Otto a tune from Star Wars.

It’s accessible. It’s available.

I learned early on in parenting that sometimes just strategically placing books I want kids to read, recipes I’d like them to try, games I’d like them to play (and pianos I’d like them to use) around our home was far more effective than saying, “Will you read this? Make this? Play this?”

I’m looking forward to sitting back and watching what the kids do with music, with art, with the whole lives they are working on creating out of the chaos and creativity and crazy that is our home.

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