a little grief. how the time passes.

I guess you could call it grieving.

I think that’s what I am doing.

Once upon a time, I had six children. And when I decided we were taking a trip, I simply put them in the car, buckled them in and drove off.

I didn’t ask their opinion and sometimes they didn’t know where we were headed until I unbuckled them and let them out.

Once upon a time I chose what these six children were eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I didn’t accept a personalized request and at a restaurant I ordered whatever it was that I wanted them to eat.

Once upon a time I set the bedtime and turned out the lights and we didn’t really talk to one another until the next morning.

Once upon a time those same six kids were ecstatic with simple picnics at parks and our homeschooling only took up a few hours every day.

That fairy tale has faded and while I do not dislike my long legged kids and their various age-appropriate growth at all, I really miss the old days.

I miss everyone being thrilled with any outdoor activity and all of our togetherness.  I miss the assumption that if one of us is leaving the house, all of us are leaving the house. I miss being a party of eight anywhere we went.

Let’s face it – I miss making decisions with less input.  I miss early bedtimes and I miss short school days and I miss spontaneity without the price tag.

Now there’s math class and co-op and soccer practice to consider. There’s study groups and youth groups and required subjects to be taught and foreign languages and higher level science and longer hours and kids who get stressed out if they don’t have enough time to finish their school work.

And – okay I’ll say it – there are SO MANY opinions and I really liked when there was just the one – mine! 

I’m grieving over the loss of all that family togetherness and I’m mourning the changes in our family dynamic and I miss the days when planning a game night with milkshakes was enough to excite the whole gang.

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