swipe left.

Every once in a blue moon, I let myself get a little distracted and I wander down the virtual aisles of Bumble.

Okay – twice. I have done this twice.

If you don’t know what Bumble is – you’re pretty lucky.

It’s a free dating app where people create a brief profile to find other people interested in dating. 

In this particular app, you see a photo and then you swipe on that photo. Left means “no thank you” and a right swipe means “let’s talk”. Or something like that.

I am no expert here.

In fact, mostly I am a disinterested person, but occasionally, with friends or on a whim, I have looked through the series of photos and had a myriad of thoughts.

And – now – I think maybe I will share those thoughts because, well – they’re funny.

I am not anti-dating apps. Nor am I pro dating apps. Can I be neutral?

I have known people who have met their significant other on a dating app. People with good and fun and enriching relationships. Some that have led to long and healthy marriages. Some that have led to solid friendships.

I have also other known people who have met their significant other on a dating app. People with unhealthy and broken relationships. People who have made poor decisions based on loneliness or misconceptions. People who have been duped and mistreated via dating apps.

I have known people with both sets of those exact same experiences via meeting people the “old fashioned” way. At work. At church. Through mutual friends. At the grocery store. 

Hey – people are weird and people are kind and people change and people make good and bad decisions, dating app or no dating app.

People are people.

But, I have to say, there is something inherently odd to me to be looking at my computer screen and making a quick decision – left or right – based on a few snapshots and a sentence or two and a couple quirky answers to a few staged questions.

Beach or mountains?

Who would you want to have dinner with?

Two truths and a lie.

It’s like a set of cheesy ice breakers and small group get to know you questions.

I can’t quite get over the feeling of silly.

Also. A few notes:

What’s with the terrible quality of photos? You don’t have a friend who can take your picture without you standing in front of a mirror? 

Fellas, baseball hats are cool. I like them. But if every photo has you wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses – you’re basically incognito.

Also – is it just me or does it seems as if the faces are SO CLOSE to the screen? Why? I feel like they’re seeing inside my house. Maybe inside my soul.

Back up, dude. We both need some space.

But seriously – I do get this heebie jeebie vibe when your photo comes up that somehow you have entered into my home. I don’t like it. It feels invasive.

I don’t think I have the courage to actually follow through with any sort of online dating. It’s just too intimidating to me to meet an actual stranger and have lunch together for the sole purpose of seeing if you like one another. The pressure is overwhelming to me.

I need to see you live life to know if I find you kind or interesting or funny.  And I’m too awkward for you to know me well at an interview-style breakfast.

And I wish the entire app didn’t play out basically as an opportunity to impulsively make uniformed judgements about another human being.

The truth is, of course, that I don’t really know another particularly better way.

I understand why people get drawn into these forms of pseudo meet and greet.

My church is currently doing a sermon series on loneliness (which I’ll likely circle back around to eventually because it’s been really eye opening) and at some point in the series a statistic of just our church members was shared.  I can’t recall the exact numbers, but it was something like over 1,300 members in our church. 1,000 were married people. Only about 200 were single women and even less – a mere 100 – were single men.

I get it, friends.

Single people feel alone sometimes.

We are in the minority.

And single women have even less of a chance of meeting someone than single men. The odds are ever in the dude’s favor. Apparently.

Not every one wants to meet “someone” in a romantic fashion. But every person wants to be known. Everyone wants acceptance.  Everyone wants to be seen.

I’m just not at all certain the swipe feature is the best way to do that.

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