Y’all.

What I NEED is some sunshine.

I can diffuse all the orange plus cedarwood plus lavender that I can buy (and you should too – it smells bright and cheery, unlike everything about February) but if some good old fashioned sun doesn’t start bursting forth from the clouds soon, I cannot guarantee the future of anything.  It has been TOO long.  Sure, there were glimmers on Sunday – it was a lovely day, in fact.  But it was just ONE day.  ONE day of sunshine.

That is NOT enough.

I am using more capital letters than I usually do.

It’s relevant.

I’m guessing I’m not the only human to struggle with this distaste of darkness, of gloomy weather, of muddy lawns and dirty dogs and soggy everything.

Last week I looked at another house.  Fell in love with the kitchen.  And the wood floors that were so very pretty.  Could not fall in love with the fact that there was only one bathroom.  Increasingly each day I am recognizing that six people sort of struggle to share one bathroom.  Especially if one person feels it is her personal requirement to go at a sloth’s pace whilst in said single bathroom.  A. Sloth’s. Pace.

(I understand that having more than one bathroom is a luxury and I am legitimately grateful that it is even a hint of a possibility for my family to actually one day acquire such a luxury as TWO showers.)

It was disappointing to decide that the house wasn’t a good fit and the lousy thing about February is that every disappointment seems worse than it actually is.  That’s what February does to people.  Homeschoolers all want to quit homeschooling in February.  Spring seems forever away, even when the forsythia stick out their sweet yellow blooms to try to help you along.

Exercise in February is laughable.  Get up early to run or walk or do yoga or, you know, anything?  Nah – give me the covers, a few more pages of a novel, the snooze button eighty bazillion times, someone please bring me a cup of tea to my bed, anything except get out of the bed early.  And, heaven forbid, if you wake up to the sound of MORE RAIN hitting the roof.  It’s over then.  All over, buddy.

And going out at night?  For exercise or for fun.  Doesn’t matter.  The answer is NO.  Nah.  I’ll pass.  It’s already dark and it’s raining AGAIN for the love and I’ll just stay right here inside my dry home.  I can’t do anything or go anywhere after 6 o’clock until the next daylight savings time crawls its way back.  It’s just the way it is, alright.

Do you see why I need sunshine?  Can you hear it?

I bet if the sun would start shining that I would find a perfect house with a bright and pleasant kitchen, two bathrooms and a field overlooking a stream and some woods.  Probably a porch with mountain view even.  A giant oak tree for a rope swing.  I bet sunshine would help Bergen finish his math lesson and would help Otto forget to whine about his chore list this week.

Sunshine has magical powers and I’m diminishing over here for lack of its presence.

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