Sometimes I come across words like these:

Repay the years the locusts have eaten.

Beauty from ashes.

Like a phoenix rising.

All the right ideas.

The symbolism.

The hope.

But

(thus far)

none of the follow through.

I have yet to see the descendants, numbers greater than the stars.

I’m no longer sitting in the ashes,

although the smell from the fire still lingers on the tips of my hair,

despite all the extra washings.

I’m not in a hard place like I’ve been before.

My problems are less desperate, more run of the mill.

We’ve just started a study on the book of Ecclesiastes at church.  Meaningless.  Hevel.  Nothing new under the sun.

The book (and my life and this post) are not without hope, of course.

That’s not even where I am, emotionally or spiritually or physically.

Not at all.

(Not that I have never pitched my tent in those woods.  I certainly have.  But I’m not camping there currently.)

The question was asked in the sermon, “When does life seem meaningless to you?”

And a possible answer given was in the daily mundane.

That’s sort of where I think I’m floating right now.

In the middle of the regular.

There’s a lot of regular in my life right now.  

Regular as in – laundry that never ever ends.  A sink that never ever stays clear of dirty dishes.  Kids that are never ever all simultaneously fed, educated, showered, content, quiet, obedient, grateful.  A to-do list that is never ever crossed off.  An inbox that is never ever clear.  A house that is never ever tidy enough and free from the flotsam of life.

And I liked the pastor’s point today.  The point of a part of the book of Ecclesiastes.

Let’s stop pretending.

Stop pretending that the meaning we create for ourselves is enough.  Stop pretending that we can make all the pieces fit and make a name for ourselves and make life work.  Stop pretending that there is meaning apart from Jesus.

And begin to remind ourselves that we can talk of both the hard and of the hope.

We can feel them both.

We can live in the regular and in the holy.

_______________________________