The idea stemmed from a conversation, a comment to a conversation really.  (You never know when what you say will be the seed of an idea or the catalyst for change.)

This friend mentioned having a set of family values – a list of what matters in your house.  A core.

I loved that idea.

I’d like to think our family has always had a standard, a set of ideas and theories guiding our actions.  But the thought of actually taking the time to verbalize what those are, to write those down, really appealed to me.

The kids and I gathered in the library.  (That’s what I like to call the extra room in our home where I have two bookshelves and some comfy chairs.  It pleases me to label it thus.  I’d appreciate you all continuing to humor me in this matter.  Many thanks.)

Foolishly I made all five kids sit side by side on one sofa.  (Silliness ensued.)  I persevered and together we all made a short list of some truths that we all decided mattered the most to us – a list of what we think is most important in our family.  We had to weed through comments like “kids are in charge” and “we should watch more television” until we got to some ideas we deemed worthy.

We narrowed the list down to six – I wanted a tidy five, but we just weren’t willing to ditch any of these ideas.  And it isn’t that we are currently doing all of these perfectly, or that maybe we ever will do each of them perfectly, but that these six ideas are important to us.  They’re foundational to the life we’re all living inside these walls.  (And outside them too, of course.)  They’re cornerstone thoughts – a list of truths we want to lean into and to check our actions against.

Of course I wrote them all down and hung them on the wall in the dining room.  We’re going to need to have them close at hand to be reminded that we want to adhere to them.

 

 

These are the six truths we landed on as our family values.

We believe:

1. You always have a choice.

(You are not to blame others for your actions.  Also as in, you get to decide how you will react to a situation, even if you cannot decide the situation.  You get to choose your attitude.  It’s the ultimate choice you get control over.  And maybe the only one.)

 2.  People matter more than stuff.

(Share your toys.  Don’t love your possessions more than your people.)

 3.  There is always space for laughter.

(I don’t know how to cope without this one.)

 4.  Being outside is good for your inside.

     5.  There is always enough.

(Enough food to share, enough room for people to sit at the table, enough beds to offer a guest a space.)

 6.  Home should be a refuge.

 

 

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