wisdom from harper lee
I made myself reread Harper Lee’s famous novel To Kill A Mockingbird this summer before I would allow myself to begin her summer release of Go Set a Watchman.
(And no, sadly, I have not finished the new novel yet. I’m just so slow at reading books these days. My nights are busy and my days are busy and my brain cells are busy and well, you get my point.)
There is just so much good in that first novel though. So much quote worthy. So much courage and so much strength of character. So much solid classic that is that original story of Scout and Atticus and Jem and Boo.
Harper Lee has one of her characters say this about Atticus Finch, the father in the novel,
Atticus Finch is the same man
in his house as he is on the street.
I’m going to claim that as just about one of the best compliments one human being could offer to another human being.
These are the words I want to have said about me.
These are words I would like to be true about me.
And, sure – yes, they could be true and you could still be a rotten human. I mean, – the me on the street could be a jerk and the me at home could be a jerk too. Same person on the street.
We’ve seen that happen I guess – right?
But I’m not talking really about the people who are rude all day every day to everyone – in their kitchen and in the line at the grocery store. That’s a different kind of breed of folk, I’d say.
But, mostly, I’d say we see something else.
And of course that’s what I am really talking about.
We see The Face We Show Strangers.
The Profile Picture With My Head Tilted Just So and My Hair Parted Just Right and My Chin Angled Up.
We see The Kind And Always Patient Mom I Pretend To Be In Public.
We see The Picture Of Me I’d Like You To Go On Believing.
We see it on the street and in church and at school and in any place we communicate with other human beings.
We see it on Facebook and Instagram, in our photos and in our comments.
(I’m not saying it’s always true, friends, but when I see overflowing sentimentality between friends or siblings or spouses on social media, it rings a little false to me. Yeah, sure – it’s the skeptic in me. But extra gushiness feels like it is more for the audience at large than the recipient tagged. Am I the only one?)
Some other famous quote says – “what you are at home, that you are indeed.”
My point is just this – what I want is to be a loyal and consistent human. I long to show love and to be genuine. To embrace transparency and vulnerability. To be the same at the dinner table and in the words typed here. The same in my social media presence and my real true life.
The same at home as I am at church as I am at Wal-Mart as I am at a family reunion as I am at a social gathering as I am at an event where no one even knows my name.
And I want to raise children to be the same.
There is just so much danger lying in the dark.
So much danger in secrets and personalities that switch and flicker according to their company.
The news is just shockingly and painfully full of men and women leading one life publicly and leading another life secretly. It’s Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. It’s Breaking Bad. It’s the plot line of movies and the twist of novels.
I remember instructing our oldest daughter frequently during her teen years, “Live an open book life.”
That’s what I still say to my younger kids.
No secrets equals no shame.
Nothing hidden equals nothing to fear.
Be the same on the street as you are in your house.
Keep Reading . . .
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sacred sabbath & rest for the weary
8 Comments
Sara
Wise words indeed. And full of Truth.
“Live an open book life.”
Twice in as many days this verse has been brought to my mind:
If (Sara) SEEMS TO BE religious and bridles not her own tongue, but deceives her own heart, her religion is vain, worthless.
And that SEEMS TO BE brings tears and sadness. Do my beloved children see Jesus through me? Or do they too often cower from the power of my tongue?
May God have mercy and give me “grace to live His praise.”
Boyd
I love the wisdom here… but Ouch! I am afraid I am falling short. Some days are better than others. I would like to believe that I have a few more of the good days than I did as a youth, perhaps.
My wife is way ahead of me here, although she would not admit it or probably even believe it, she is. In the mean time, I plan to keep plodding along working on having more of that “Atticus Attitude”.
laceykeigley
I feel pretty honored to have you take your time to read over here! Thank you!
I think we all fall short. It’s lovely to see you praise your wife as far ahead of you – I imagine she’d be happy to coach you in her ways.
The “Atticus Attitude” – that would make a good bumper sticker.
Boyd
She does, by example! I hope to be a regular. I like what I am reading. Thank you for taking the time to do it!
Concerning bumper stickers, we use to have one on our old van which read “Honk if Your Amish”! Picked it up in Asheville. One of our favorite haunts.We are kinda fun loving. Some would say goofy. 🙂 Have a nice holiday!
Helen
Great wisdom in these words!
laceykeigley
thank you.
Chelsea
Yes, this.
It came out that an uncle of mine has been verbally and emotionally abusive to his family for many years. None of us knew. Part of his argument/ justification was as you said… He believes everyone puts on a better face in public. Which means they are unkind (etc!) at home. But this revealed what a safe ‘normal’ I was raised in, because I thought it was most common to be like my family and very unusual to be like him. Sadly, as an adult, I have learned this isn’t true.
On the other hand I attended a funeral for a family member that was so hateful (at home and in public) that everything kind that was said about him was made up. Lies.
Both are very sad situations and lame ways to choose to live life. Love God well. Love people well. No matter where you are. Genuine, consistent, transparent are wonderful goals. Choosing otherwise breeds sin, addictions, and sometimes even mental illness.
laceykeigley
goodness.
the stories we have, the stories we carry, the stories we share and the stories we never say out loud.
goodness.
I think that’s an interesting thought too – about breeding mental illness. I definitely think there is a lead in to mental illness from chronic deceit.
Sad stories indeed. And sad ways to live life – you are right.