what I actually hope for my children …
“I just want my children to be happy.”
“Follow your heart.”
“What’s your passion?”
There’s a lot of advice we give and we get – as parents and as humans – that is actually really bad advice.
Really bad advice.
I think following your heart and finding your passion and pursuing personal happiness rank right up there with the worst.
(Even though it sounds so good.)
I tell our children, “I’m not hoping for your happiness. I’m not staking my hope in that. Follow Jesus. Not yourself. Follow truth. And sometimes you might find that it makes you happy. And sometimes you will find that it does not.”
Happiness is too fleeting, too slippery, to be worth your greatest energies.
Happiness is not secure and you cannot chase it with hopes of satisfaction.
I love this Mike Rowe quote where he says, “Don’t find your passion. Bring your passion to your job.”
When we were last camping with our friend Page he shared a story about an interview he saw and he told us about it and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. The man in the interview was not an American and he was quoted as saying, “Americans tell their children to do what makes them happy. We say – find what people need and then do that. Give people what they need.”
I can’t get this idea out of my head.
I think the inherent difference in these two ideas is service. The posture of your heart. The attitude of your spirit – one is taking. One is giving. One focuses on me. One focuses on you. One is serving. One is being served.
Even when it’s dressed up in fancy clothes – as in – my passion is helping minister to fill-in-the-blank – it can often be a path to achieving your own glory as others glorfiy you while you selflessly serve but are actually serving yourself.
Of course, only God can know your heart and your motivation – but you know you have a pretty good inkling of your heart yourself.
Anyway.
I don’t care if I raise happy kids.
I care if I raise kind kids. I care if I raise God-honoring kids. I care if I raise thoughtful humans.
Adults who place someone else’s needs before their own. Grown ups who love and serve and who think less about meeting their own needs and more about meeting the needs of those people around them – however lowly a form that service takes.
That’s the kind of kid I want to raise.
And the kind of grown up I’d like to be.
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6 Comments
Nicole Stratton
I love truth! I’ve dedicated my life to its pursuit and its propagation through living and speaking it and this is TRUTH! Philippians 2:5-8 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
Wow! That is my God! He has shown us the way of truth and life all we have to do it follow! Keep following after Him Lacey and know that so many are supporting you – loving you! I love your children and join you in the same prayer! May our children be like Christ alone and shine His light in the midst of the darkness of this world!!
Jessica
Very well said. This has also been in my heart lately, especially after looking at graduation cards. I am saddened to see how the culture is teaching children that “you can do it yourself and by yourself and do anything yourself.” When the biblical truth is so far from that. I, personally, am trying to be more intentional in focusing in joy, not happiness. Focusing on others, not ourselves. Focusing on grace, and not selfishness/pridefulness. It is not easy going against culture or even our sun nature, but thankfully I don’t have to do it by myself. I am thankful that I serve a God who is faithful to guide, lead, carry, and walk beside me on OUR journey.
laceykeigley
So true. It is an endless challenge. But a worthwhile one.
Nicole
Lacey,
I enjoy reading all of your posts, but this particular one really stuck a chord with me today. I think it’s really great insight. Thanks for sharing!
laceykeigley
Thanks Nicole! 🙂
kimmie
AMEN!! Well said : )