The Summer Screen Blues

It is full on summer now – right?

I mean, I think summer really begins according to the calendar this weekend.

But – seriously – the temperatures are in the nineties this week and we haven’t seen school in days upon days.

So – it’s summer.

For the past few days – when we’ve been home – I’ve found myself wiling away an hour or two here and there sitting in front of this blasted little screen.

And I’ve been growing increasingly disgusted with myself.

The kids will be upstairs – engulfed in full blown Lego world oblivion.

My chores are mostly caught up and so – like the proverbial moth to a flame – I find myself aimlessly wandering into the school room, placing myself on the red and blue stool, and click click clicking my way into a time warp.

A little Facebook, a little Pinterest, a little blog post, a little article about this or that and suddenly it’s practically lunch time and I’m sick of me.

I don’t have a giant Summer To Do List.  Just your basic Maybe I Would Like To Do Some of These Things kind of list.  A couple items I need to check off before we head for the prairie.  A few bits and pieces to accomplish.  A little next year school planning.  You know. The regular stuff.

But I certainly do not want to wither away my hours clicking through other people’s lives and projects I’ll never complete.

It just makes for the kind of day that leaves you wanting when you lay your head to rest on the pillow.

The kind of day that when you close your eyes you can’t think of anything particularly outstanding about it.

I don’t want a summer like that.

I don’t even really want any more days like that.

Last night one of my click click clicky links led me to Ann Voskamp’s lovely blog and this convicting article — How to Focus in an Age of Distraction.  Ironically – it was a great reminder for me.  And a perfectly timed motivator.

Last night I said to myself, “Self – you need to exercise self-control.  Why not practice it tomorrow?  Tomorrow you shall not click on Facebook or Pinterest at all during the day.  In fact, you should leave the computer resting quietly in its home – untouched.  Self – you may approach the computer after dinner.  You may use the time after the kids are in bed to read all the stuff you think you are missing.  You may write your blog post then as well.  The end.  Self.”

And so that’s what I did today.

I listened to myself.

It was a really pleasant day.

Not like angels singing the hallelujah chorus pleasant, but genuinely nice in so many ways.

There was a game of Rummikub.  Time to teach Otto how to make cinnamon toast for breakfast.  Front porch sitting.  A nagging end of the school year paperwork kind of project was completed.  Bergen and I worked together to make homemade pizza dough for dinner.  I suddenly had the time to look over the basic accounting details I do to help Kevin’s Noble Fox run smoothly.  I conquered my one load of laundry a day goal.  And stood in the fading sunshine and folded the fresh-smelling laundry right outside by the clothesline.  I even did a little prep work for the upcoming school year.  Piper and Otto and I read a chapter or two of Charlotte’s Web together – Charlotte just spoke to Wilbur for the first time.

None of this was monumental in and of itself.

It’s not even a staggering list of accomplishments for a day spent entirely at home with no outside errands to distract us.

But – and sadly, I can guarantee this – if I had not told myself to say no to the screen, this little list of life items would not have looked the same.

And, you know what’s so funny, of course I didn’t miss anything.  I didn’t have six hundred notifications and no one was missing me online.  My half hour of “catching up” was more than adequate and far less time consuming.

I’m often bemoaning my love/hate relationship with social media and Kevin is always telling me – It’s just a tool.  You control it – it doesn’t control you.

Of course he’s right.  But for people like me who struggle with self-control and discipline — it’s overwhelming sometimes.

Anyway.

I think I just sat down to say this: Today was a truly nice day.

I think when I go to sleep tonight it will be with a clearer head and a better sense of accomplishment.

And that’s how I’d like summer to feel anyway.

Well – you know – how I’d like all year to feel actually.