Go Ahead and Instagram Your “Perfect” Life
There’s a very popular article making its way around the Internet lately.
It’s called Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life.
Of course, if you’re my dad – you don’t even know what Instagram is so that article (and probably this post) are completely irrelevant.
And that’s okay.
Maybe they should both be irrelevant anyway.
I think the writer made some valid points. In fact, maybe we would even agree on a lot of this if we were chatting face to face.
If you haven’t read it – feel free to do that now.
Shauna Niequist, the author, declares us to be negatively influenced by the practice of most Facebook and Instagram users to take pictures of only the best parts of our lives.
Well of course that’s what we’re going to do.
Prior to the invention of Instagram and Facebook, back in the day when I picked up my new cordless phone to call my mom in Wyoming, I would share stories about my day. And usually, I talked about the over-the-top adorableness that my two toddling daughters were up to that day. I shared the kind gesture Kevin made more frequently than the argument we had earlier that morning.
Did that make me a liar?
Of course, when times were hard or I was struggling, I confided that in my mother too. Or my friends. Whoever was on the other end of the line or sitting across the table from me in my real life.
I shared both. And they did too.
Fast forward a wee bit and we have information overload. You’re sharing what you ate for lunch, how long your morning workout was, the restaurant you tried last week.
And you’re sharing it with everybody. Not just your real friends.
I think it’s naive to think we don’t understand how this silly system works.
Of course you share the best or the funniest or the whatever spin you want. Of course you do.
I don’t look at my friends’ pictures in any social media format and think, “Man, Lucy has it all together. Her life looks so good. She must be an amazing cook, a fabulous mom and a sparkling clean housekeeper.”
Generally, if I’m looking at her pictures, I actually know Lucy. I had breakfast with her last week. My kids played with her kids Saturday morning. I know her house is sometimes messy, I’ve heard her sass her own children, I’ve eaten some of the mistakes she has cooked.
Because we’re friends.
Because she’s in my life more than she’s on my screen.
And the day I’m judging anyone solely off the basis of their social media use is the day I’m in the wrong anyway.
I’m not going to hold it against you if you wait until you have make up on to take a picture of you and your first grader.
I don’t blame you for only sharing the picture of the meal that turned out delicious today instead of the one you burned last night.
You share whatever pictures you want to share.
That’s your privilege in this social media society.
Any guilt I feel about my own perceived inadequacies is my problem.
I’m not saying Ms. Niequist got her article wrong.
I would like to present a bigger picture, however. I’d like Facebook and Instagram not to fall into the arena of one more way to support the already rampant victim mentality prevalent in America.
If someone else is enjoying their life and posting pictures to a source no one is forcing you to use, they can do whatever they want.
They can post a hundred pretty pictures and zero ugly ones.
If you’re going to be threatened and compare your real life to what you know is a slice of reality, I don’t think the fault lies with the perfect picture taker.
The fault is your own.
If your heart is drawn to jealousy and to comparison, don’t blame your heart’s core issues on your friend.
Facebook and Instagram have been normal for too long for us to foolishly believe they are real life.
They are not.
So go ahead and Instagram you looking your best in that new dress.
Share a picture of your preschooler’s red cowboy boots before she steps in the mud with them this afternoon.
I’ll trust that the damage happens after the picture has been snapped. I’ll embrace the slice of beauty with you before the inevitable fall out occurs.
Go ahead, Instagram your “perfect” life.
9 Comments
Maggie
YES! I like the good things much more than the bad. You always have those people in your REAL life who you are like "Right on they are super!" BUT then you see their Debbie Downer facebook statuses or their emo-no-one-loves me instagram pouty face poses. Who needs that!?
Lauren
I'm so glad you posted this. When I first read the article I agreed with a lot of it and I always laugh at how sweet and demur my kiddos look as I review past photos, when most days we're just a bunch of crazies. 😉
But the more I thought about it the more I questioned it. There is truth in that article but at the same time there are things that we want to remember just the way they are now. Good things. And then there are those things we'd prefer to forget. No matter how "real" it would be, you wouldn't have wanted me to IG my week of what happens when a child doesn't make it to the bathroom in time and the pukes come. Barf buckets, cans of Lysol, crying babies, high temperatures and dark circles under mama's eyes from no sleep. Things I want documented for future enjoyment? Nope. It's the happy, bright eyes of a 3 year old who's on the mend that I want to capture with a photo. It's a place and a means to count His gifts and remind myself of all the good that He has given me.
You've also got to be really careful with articles like this because they can unintentionally heap guilt for subsequent posts. "Will everyone think I'm trying to be fake? Does this seem like I'm trying to be perfect?"
For me, that kinda misses the intent of the photo/post altogether.
I love what you said about relationship. So true.
lacey35
You know – that's another side effect I hadn't thought about – the new pressure to then be concerned with your posts to wonder if someone will judge you for trying to look a certain way.
Ah – the struggles we put ourselves through.
And – on a huge side note – I miss you around AND I have a book that belongs to you that I need to return. 🙂
Gretchen
LIKE YOUR POST!!! I have not read the article. But you are right on! 🙂
lacey35
Thanks G!
jkkyker
Completely agree. My heart is prone to dwell on all the ways I'm screwing up as a wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend (with a lot of help from the information overload that tells me all of the wonderful things I should be doing!). Documenting the beautiful steers my heart towards the many, many moments of joy that God gives me in this life. Do I want to dwell on failures or beauty? Which do I want to remember and take with me into tomorrow? I'm slowly learning through the failures but I want to remember the beauty.
Though this does remind me that I've been meaning to Instagram Jimmy carrying Jack out of the park the other day during a ridiculous tantrum. : )
lacey35
Yes – I love the way you word that – steering your heart toward the moments of joy.
And I still think some of the absurd moments are hilarious. And crying kids sometimes fits that bill.
Alicia
Thank you! I totally agree. After all, we've had photo albums for generations and most of them are full of the beautiful things. And really, isn't that what we carry with us? We don't remember our vacations and think of all the things that drove us nuts or went wrong. Oh, we might remember them, and a few might be so memorable they really do stick. But mostly the negatives fade, and we think that it really was a lovely trip. Thinking on lovely things never killed anyone. We all have plenty of negatives. 🙂
lacey35
Ah – the photo albums.
That's the best example because a photo album is basically what Facebook is.
I agree too – that IS what we carry with us. Yes, we carry the bad too – but most of us work hard to lessen the power of the bad by remembering the power of the good.
"Thinking on lovely things"… – isn't that scriptural anyway? 🙂