rule 62 of the handbook no one has written.

There ought to be a rule.

Number 62 in the parenting handbook or something.

Any words muttered by you or your spouse between the hours of midnight and six a.m. cannot be held against you.

The world seems dark and the situation seems dire when your two-year-old son wakes up at three thirty-six a.m.

His room is upstairs.

Your room is downstairs.

Your bed is warm.  The covers are tight.  The hallway is long and the steps are cold.

You lie in bed and pretend you just don’t hear him, hoping your spouse will take this round for you.

It’s an absolutely unfair advantage when said crying two-year-old chooses to shout one name loudly.

“Mommeeeee.”  

“He’s calling your name, Lacey,” Kevin calmly says, wrapped securely in his cocoon of warmth, surrounded by both our blankets and the fact that our son had chosen my name to cry.

I mutter a response.  Mostly unintelligible.  Purely excuse-driven.  Desperate.

The response for which I should not be held accountable given the lateness of the hour.

I’m actually not even sure what I said.  Something about having just fallen asleep.  About the fact that I’m wearing no socks.  There’s no telling what words really escaped my mouth at that moment.

Which proves my point, exactly.

I should not be responsible for them.

If we ever get around to compiling this parenting manual – what other rules should be included?