made for one another.
Relationship.
I think we’ve been designed for it.
Community.
I think it’s where God’s love is most evident.
In my life, I know this to be true.
Jesus – He’s our rescue, ultimately.
But I think His means is through people.
Regular old people.
The me’s and you’s in our lives.
Alone is bad, really.
(I don’t mean the afternoon alone without the kids or being single or planning a weekend alone from your customary routine.)
I mean,
when I spend too much time alone in my own head,
rummaging through the past or frantically making lists for the future,
I
lose
all
perspective.
Alone in my mind,
I make everything about me.
And that’s why we need one another.
Friends.
Comrades.
People who listen.
And then remind you of
truth.
They maybe tell you you are a little crazy.
They maybe hold your hand.
They maybe laugh with you.
They maybe cry with you.
And the hard part usually is
letting them in.
Because it’s risky.
It’s scary to let people know your junk.
But I know this.
It is worth it.
I am certain that I would not have endured the grief of losing my mother if it weren’t for my friends.
The ones who had already traveled the road I was stumbling down.
The ones I reached out to.
The ones who reached out to me.
I am convinced that my marriage would not be intact today if it weren’t for our friends.
The ones we invited in.
The ones who came without an invitation.
I guarantee I couldn’t muddle through this daily daily daily path of parenting without peers caught up in the same journey.
The mothers who share their mistakes.
The friends who encourage me to keep on keeping on.
I don’t want to be alone.
I don’t want to do any of this life with just my me-absorbed, small-minded self to solely rely upon.
And I don’t think alone was the original plan, anyway.
It’s just too easy to believe our own lies.
It’s just too easy to paint truth any way we like it.
I’m so grateful for the friends who ask hard questions.
Who say, “Um, that’s not okay.”
And, “You’re doing a good job here today.”
The friends who refuse to just mind their own business.
Who won’t let me wallow.
Friends who stand in the gap
for me
and my children
and my marriage
and my heart.
What friends have called you out?
What friends have been your rescue?
Let’s name them in the comments sections today.
17 Comments
sarah
i'm here from sarah markley's facebook page and i am grateful to have found you! this post is resonating within my heart. i'm wrestling with making friends in a new town, being an introvert, and just being slow to open up to others. thanks for the reminder about how dangerously easy it can be to make things all about me. i need to keep trying.
LaceyKeigley
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading.
I have certainly found that although the path to true community is a heart challenge – it is worth the effort.
And usually people seem to meet vulnerability with vulnerability. Sometimes you take a risk and lose, but more often, I think you win.
I hope you are finding adventures in your new town and embracing what you can about this new challenge!
Sarah Pearman
I love this post (along w/ all your other ones) and it really speaks to me at my current point in life. =) I'm sure there are numerous people I could list but there are a few that really jump out right now to me right now.
My friend Steve at church who has been a part of my Christian walk since pretty much the beginning. He called me out recently and reminded me that in relationships (& other areas) that I need to make sure that I'm not just settling for what's there at the moment thinking that's all I deserve or will get but to realize that there is someone out there made for me & to be patient & to give the timing to God.
My best friend Crystal, her hubby Derick, my friend Wayne & one of my youth, Alexis – they remind me that I am beautiful the way I am & to not let other people's negative judgements affect me. They don't let me get too hard on myself when I'm struggling and they love and support me.
I'm blessed to have many people in my life who help hold me accountable & who love and support me. (Sorry this was so long). =)
Beth
abby, gretchen, lacey, mandi, michelle (alphabitical order). i literally would not be standing if not for these women.
LaceyKeigley
My beautiful Beth – I am so glad you are my friend.
And so blessed that you are still standing.
And honored to be in your corner.
Gretchen
Agreed, definitely needed………support and accountability. My list……..Casey, Myshel, Cindy, Kim, You, Beth, Page.
LaceyKeigley
So glad we can still be standing together through all these years.
Jane
I MADE THE LIST!!!! YES!!!
LaceyKeigley
Of course you made the list Jane.
You have sat in this living room for far too many hours through far too much stuff to not make this kind of list, my friend.
Walter Howard
Lacey, I am thankful for your thoughts today. And for our challenging conversations.
LaceyKeigley
Walter – I am pleasantly surprised that you are reading today!
Wait – did you just read Wednesday's because you're coming to our house later on?
Terry
My short list: Larry and Carla.
They've been a huge blessing in my life. I can't begin to be grateful enough for all the positive effects they've had on my life. We call it dangerous silence when any of us get stuck in our own head too much. It's been wonderful to have people to share with and help keep my focus outward rather than in.
Shara and Lynsey – fabulous women who have great perspectives on life and are very much the opposite of me. I have a lot of respect for them and they help me see what life could be.
Cian – most observant man I know. He has a talent for finding fun.
There are more of course. I am blessed with amazing friends. But the rest I'm either just getting to know or I haven't been regularly in touch with them for a while. These are the current ones who I trust to call me out and/or support me as needed – and who are excellent and recognizing the different needs.
Brilliant post Miss Lacey. I love reading your blog.
LaceyKeigley
Thank you Terry.
"Dangerous silence." That's it – perfectly.
LaceyKeigley
My list is long. (And I will leave some out, I am certain.)
Beth, Sally, Emma, Gretchen, Page, Mandy, Jody, Walter, Jane, Nathan, Leanne, Shelley, Mandi, Tyler, Nate, Amy
(That’s the short list.)
Sally Faulkner
Lecia and Amanda are two that immediately come to mind.
nikkie
woah. this is so good, lacey.
ok-glenda and valery-two close friends who have more life experience than me and aren't afraid to be honest in love.
a handful of folks within our church family have been my rescue-reminding me not to quit when i felt like quitting.
and possibly, though maybe you had more face to face friends in mind, you have called me out once or twice. in a very good way- through your honesty and your writing….so, thanks.
LaceyKeigley
Oh yes.
If I count my blog friends – I definitely have to list you and Sarah and Alece through the words on the blogs.