The Hawke Has Landed

I sat down tonight (or last night, if you read this during the day, like regular folk. or tonight if you are alece and you read somehow in cyber space over my shoulder as I type in the nearly wee hours.) to type a little post about something else.

I can’t even remember what right now.

Because I was interrupted by a boy named Bergen who was telling me stories about his recent ManTrip 2011.

It was really too late for him to be awake, but since he arrived home and crashed after the trip from about 5 p.m. until about 7 p.m. – wrecking both tonight’s rest and possibly tomorrow’s opportunity for a happy heart – I figured I might as well seize the opportunity and listen to the tales of a five-year-old’s adventures.

And then I realized, you guys could listen to those tales as well.

Berg’s way funnier than I am anyway.

He and Kevin and Uncle Tyler and his son Baylor spent two days over at Great Wolf Lodge, a first experience for all four of them.  And the first of what they hope to be many ManTrips in their futures.  (Eventually they can toss in the younger brothers Otto and Collier as they age appropriately.)

Me: Hey, son.  Can I type everything we say for the next few minutes?

Bergen: No.  Not right now.

Me: If you sit down right here and answer my questions then you can stay up a few minutes longer.

Bergen: Okay then.

Me: Berg – did you guys eat all of those cheese balls?

Bergen: No.

Me: Where are they now?

Bergen: In Uncle Tyler’s car.

Me: What do you think Uncle Tyler is going to do with them?

Bergen: Eat them all.

Me: Alone?

Bergen: No.

Me: Who is going to eat them with him?

Bergen: Baylor. And Collier.  And Baylor and Collier’s mom.

Me: So – best part about the trip.  Go.

Bergen: Swimming.

Me: What type of swimming?

Bergen: Wave pool.  The pool where they had slides.  The water guns.

Me: Water guns?

Bergen: When you press something down, water comes shooting out.  I shot at the water and stuff.

Me: Were you brave?

Bergen: Yes.

Me: Tell me about the lily pads I saw in the pictures.

Bergen: I did great on the lily pads. I went under the water on the first lily pads at first.  Under water I saw Dad’s feet.

Me: Were you scared?

Bergen: No, my eyes were open when I went under water.

Me: Where did you sleep?

Bergen: In a bed.  I didn’t sleep with Baylor – I slept on the sofa but I ended up sleeping with Dad.

Me: What did you eat for breakfast?

Bergen: Uh. I ate a cheeseburger and then I ate cheese balls.

Me: For breakfast?

Bergen: Yes.

Me: Wait, I think you mean dinner.  What did you eat after you woke up?

Bergen: I forget.

Me: Okay. Who should go to Great Wolf Lodge?

Bergen: Our family.  Our whole family.

Me: Why?

Bergen: Because they haven’t been there and maybe they could get a wolf there.

Me: You got a wolf there?

Bergen: Yeah – he’s right here.

Me: What’s his name going to be?

Bergen: I don’t know yet.

Me: What are you thinking about?

Bergen: Dad said I could name it Little Grey, but I don’t know.  Okay, maybe I’ll name him Little Gray.  I said, I will, not maybe.

At this point, I realized Berg was reading too quickly and correcting my spelling errors as I sped-typed, something at which I do not excel.

So I decided to call this interview quits and send that boy to bed.

With Little Grey.

That wolf already looks like trouble anyway.