as the pendulum swings

If you have read this blog for any length of time then you already know a-plenty about me.

You know that I love a list.

And I have a fondness for schedule.

Let me tell you this,

I can plan the mess out of something.

I make a mean routine.

I am a first-rate organizer.

I draw it up in colorful coordination.

Little squares, circles, colors assigned to each child, a day per activity.

If there was a thrown-down for planning, I could take you.

But, uh, I have a little problem that no amount of planning seems to solve.

I think you call it

follow-through.

I mean,

ask me to schedule your day,

organize your year,

make a master-plan for your life

and I can handle that.

I can give you a chart with graphs and goals and cute fonts.

But require me to complete my to-do list?

Hold me accountable for actually baking every Friday or drawing every Wednesday?

Goodness.

I will fail nearly every time.

How do you make the plan work?

How do you make it stick?

(No, really, I am asking a valid question.)

I type the schedule.

I stick it to the fridge door.

And then,

mostly,

I ignore it.

I get carried away and want to embrace a new book or a new recipe or a new anything.

Yes, some lists work.

Some ideas hold.

Our breakfast schedule is legitimate.

We do read novels together every day, just rarely at the same time or in the same location.

We do bake together weekly but I cannot seem to contain the efforts to Wednesday only. (Or whatever day I declared for this month.)

What is it that keeps me from finishing what I start?

Why do I jump the tracks so often?

I blame a desire to embrace the freedom home school allows.

I blame a desire to reject conformity and the status quo.

I am a Rule Follower and a Rebel.

Both at the same time.

But extremes always seem to be just that –

extreme.

How do you blend spontaneity and schedule?

Fun and follow though?

Impulse and routine?

Am I already doing it?

Why does it feel so complicated?

Is it all that important?

Does any of this balance really matter?

What do you think?

Home school or not –

what does your life look like?

How do your days flow?

Extreme or Middle of the Road?

Is it working for you?

14 Comments

Sherry

March 23, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I agree with Jesse……………..plus to be honest , with six kids, I dont know how you even have time to make a list let alone follow through on it. "Baby, you're amazing, just the way you are".

Jesse Wickstrum

March 23, 2011 at 6:27 am

Lacey, I have found that the best way to keep plans is to not make them. Seriously.

The more detailed a plan the more likely you are to fail it. Create vague ideas of what you want to accomplish. Abstract concepts that include a grand range of ideas that are not necessarily spelled out in great detail. This will allow you to accomplish your goal even if it wasn't PRECISELY what was in mind.

For example, instead of saying "I will draw every Wednesday", try "I will draw once a week."

This accomplishes the same goal but allows for greater freedom and flexibility in a schedule. Nailing down specific times, methods, or locations will limit your possibilities.

Remaining abstract and general not only increases your chances of success, but it also opens the doors to possibilities that may have otherwise been missed or ignored because that event was not scheduled for that time slot.

Stacy Finnigan

March 23, 2011 at 1:59 am

My humble suggestion: use those impulses (new books/recipes/etc) for NEXT week's schedule. Write them down, and know that they will still be there next week. They don't have to be done right now, because your already-planned plans are just as valid as the now-forming plan. That's what I do.
And with my job, my routine/schedule is set, and I don't have an option but to follow it or get into trouble. It was tough at first because that's not my nature, but it gets easier once you've settled into it. Also, you maintain your flexibility, but keep it as close as possible.
The kids might even learn the routine and get excited when they know it's time for certain activities.

LaceyKeigley

March 23, 2011 at 3:54 am

These are good suggestions.
Particularly embracing it for NEXT week.
That actually sounds doable.
Although threat of punishment or threat of losing one's job is pretty good motivation.
Maybe I need someone to offer to fire me.

Seriously – I know the kids would get excited about specific times for activities – they always do when those are parts of our routine.

Terry

March 22, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Balance is incredibly important. I am a creature of habit. I react very poorly to change and I don't think on my feet well. I need to chew on an idea without being pushed before I'm okay with it enough to embrace it. Life rarely allows for that. Sudden change stresses me out. Routine is comfortable. But you stick to the ones that are important. I know I need sleep or I get depressed and I get migraines. I keep my sleep schedule. I'm a much more pleasant person with endorphins on board so I keep up my workout routine. There are days where I just don't feel like it. And on those days…I don't. It's not every Wednesday. It's a routine, but it's flexible. Because life doesn't happen according to my plans.

Gretchen

March 22, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Discipline maybe? Knowing that if we want to do other things that morning we need to get items 1-whatever done or make sure later in the day they can be accomplished. Planning the fun days, I always leave Friday open for freedom. But we always have other days during the week when things come up and we just work around it. I think it helps I have only one child on a particular schedule for school work right now. 🙂 Also, Kiah gets up early……..so that helps and does not take up afternoons etc. (at least at the present time). Also having a checklist in your brain. Like I get out Kiah's work every night before I go to bed and put it on the little table and I know what he has to complete so that helps. So that is for school. For work……uhhh taking my time in the afternoon to get the things done that I need to for Monday and Wednesays. Lunch, Breakfast and dinner………..lunch is pretty much the same everyday which is pathetic at times, but it is what it is……….breakfast and dinner vary and making time to grocery shop is the hardest challenge for me. I have to make lists for planning meals and then shop and I always seem to forget something and one of us has to run to the store…….so I am not very good at that………..so I think I write it down but am not focused enough at the store b/c I am having to keep tract of kids not wandering away. At least that is my excuse???
Anyhow that is how it flows here………:)

LaceyKeigley

March 23, 2011 at 3:55 am

Those are all good ideas…

I have always known you are better at follow through than me though G.

Even back in college.
Remember ??
That's the reason I have a regular degree and you have a Masters.

I do enjoy my days much better when I plan the night before as well.
And sometimes I grocery shop on Sunday afternoons or Saturday mornings while Kevin hangs with kids.

shelley

March 22, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Oh great, there seems to be a theme in your comments. Because I was going to say, "Are we sisters, separated at birth? Did I just write this blog post and forget about it? Why does everything she wrote seem eerily familiar?" ::sigh:: Apparently you're not going to get any good input from your readers. But at least we all know we're not alone.

LaceyKeigley

March 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Do you think there is a self-help group for us?

A 12 step program?

Actually, Shelley – YOU are the hope for us.
Your children are a success – smart, funny, kind.
So something is working.
Some balance of chaos and fun and serious and endeavor has evidently been found in your house and in your style.

Which leads me to suggest – you should probably be the leader of our self-help group.

Sally

March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Until I remembered that I was on YOUR blog, not mine, I could have sworn (if i was the swearin' kind) that I wrote this post inmy sleep. THIS. THIS! Is my problem with homeschooling. EXACTLY. Nail on the head. Right on the nose. Jackpot. Bingo. Whatever. I could definitely go head-to-head in Listing and Planning.
So I have no answers, because you double here in VA would kindly make you out a List of what to do, the tools to use, the order in which to do – color-coded, of course –
but maybe there's comfort in company?

LaceyKeigley

March 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Sally – i was thinking about you when I wrote this post.
And how I am such a lousy accountability partner too.

I guess there is comfort in company though.

Now – what to do we do?
Fell okay about ourselves or keep struggling toward change?
- Sally
  
  March 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm
  
  For me, I need to keep struggling toward change. I feel certain of it.
  sincerely,
  your lousy accountability partner

seriousbethy

March 22, 2011 at 4:21 am

Yes, no, no, yes, maybe, yes uh . . . crap, what question number am I on?! Seriously Lacey, you remind me of myself and the way I analyze the cuss out of, well, everything! I feel like you're asking my own questions for me. That said, I obviously don't have answers for you. If it makes you feel any better, I LOVE your breakfast schedule and was just thinking this morning of stealing the idea for us.

I'm also laughing at all the organization apps you must have bought (or are itching to buy) on your new iPhone. I've got a couple of great ones I can't wait to show you.

LaceyKeigley

March 22, 2011 at 1:53 pm

At least I know I am not alone!

Steal away – I probably stole it from somewhere else myself.

I have not yet downloaded any organizational apps although I have looked at a few – so, please, let me know which ones are worthwhile.

Maybe we should let our iPhones have a playdate!

Sherry

March 23, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I agree with Jesse……………..plus to be honest , with six kids, I dont know how you even have time to make a list let alone follow through on it. "Baby, you're amazing, just the way you are".
Jesse Wickstrum

March 23, 2011 at 6:27 am

Lacey, I have found that the best way to keep plans is to not make them. Seriously.

The more detailed a plan the more likely you are to fail it. Create vague ideas of what you want to accomplish. Abstract concepts that include a grand range of ideas that are not necessarily spelled out in great detail. This will allow you to accomplish your goal even if it wasn't PRECISELY what was in mind.

For example, instead of saying "I will draw every Wednesday", try "I will draw once a week."

This accomplishes the same goal but allows for greater freedom and flexibility in a schedule. Nailing down specific times, methods, or locations will limit your possibilities.

Remaining abstract and general not only increases your chances of success, but it also opens the doors to possibilities that may have otherwise been missed or ignored because that event was not scheduled for that time slot.
Stacy Finnigan

March 23, 2011 at 1:59 am

My humble suggestion: use those impulses (new books/recipes/etc) for NEXT week's schedule. Write them down, and know that they will still be there next week. They don't have to be done right now, because your already-planned plans are just as valid as the now-forming plan. That's what I do.
And with my job, my routine/schedule is set, and I don't have an option but to follow it or get into trouble. It was tough at first because that's not my nature, but it gets easier once you've settled into it. Also, you maintain your flexibility, but keep it as close as possible.
The kids might even learn the routine and get excited when they know it's time for certain activities.
- LaceyKeigley
  
  March 23, 2011 at 3:54 am
  
  These are good suggestions.
  Particularly embracing it for NEXT week.
  That actually sounds doable.
  Although threat of punishment or threat of losing one's job is pretty good motivation.
  Maybe I need someone to offer to fire me.
  
  Seriously – I know the kids would get excited about specific times for activities – they always do when those are parts of our routine.
Terry

March 22, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Balance is incredibly important. I am a creature of habit. I react very poorly to change and I don't think on my feet well. I need to chew on an idea without being pushed before I'm okay with it enough to embrace it. Life rarely allows for that. Sudden change stresses me out. Routine is comfortable. But you stick to the ones that are important. I know I need sleep or I get depressed and I get migraines. I keep my sleep schedule. I'm a much more pleasant person with endorphins on board so I keep up my workout routine. There are days where I just don't feel like it. And on those days…I don't. It's not every Wednesday. It's a routine, but it's flexible. Because life doesn't happen according to my plans.
Gretchen

March 22, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Discipline maybe? Knowing that if we want to do other things that morning we need to get items 1-whatever done or make sure later in the day they can be accomplished. Planning the fun days, I always leave Friday open for freedom. But we always have other days during the week when things come up and we just work around it. I think it helps I have only one child on a particular schedule for school work right now. 🙂 Also, Kiah gets up early……..so that helps and does not take up afternoons etc. (at least at the present time). Also having a checklist in your brain. Like I get out Kiah's work every night before I go to bed and put it on the little table and I know what he has to complete so that helps. So that is for school. For work……uhhh taking my time in the afternoon to get the things done that I need to for Monday and Wednesays. Lunch, Breakfast and dinner………..lunch is pretty much the same everyday which is pathetic at times, but it is what it is……….breakfast and dinner vary and making time to grocery shop is the hardest challenge for me. I have to make lists for planning meals and then shop and I always seem to forget something and one of us has to run to the store…….so I am not very good at that………..so I think I write it down but am not focused enough at the store b/c I am having to keep tract of kids not wandering away. At least that is my excuse???
Anyhow that is how it flows here………:)
- LaceyKeigley
  
  March 23, 2011 at 3:55 am
  
  Those are all good ideas…
  
  I have always known you are better at follow through than me though G.
  
  Even back in college.
  Remember ??
  That's the reason I have a regular degree and you have a Masters.
  
  I do enjoy my days much better when I plan the night before as well.
  And sometimes I grocery shop on Sunday afternoons or Saturday mornings while Kevin hangs with kids.
shelley

March 22, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Oh great, there seems to be a theme in your comments. Because I was going to say, "Are we sisters, separated at birth? Did I just write this blog post and forget about it? Why does everything she wrote seem eerily familiar?" ::sigh:: Apparently you're not going to get any good input from your readers. But at least we all know we're not alone.
- LaceyKeigley
  
  March 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm
  
  Do you think there is a self-help group for us?
  
  A 12 step program?
  
  Actually, Shelley – YOU are the hope for us.
  Your children are a success – smart, funny, kind.
  So something is working.
  Some balance of chaos and fun and serious and endeavor has evidently been found in your house and in your style.
  
  Which leads me to suggest – you should probably be the leader of our self-help group.
Sally

March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Until I remembered that I was on YOUR blog, not mine, I could have sworn (if i was the swearin' kind) that I wrote this post inmy sleep. THIS. THIS! Is my problem with homeschooling. EXACTLY. Nail on the head. Right on the nose. Jackpot. Bingo. Whatever. I could definitely go head-to-head in Listing and Planning.
So I have no answers, because you double here in VA would kindly make you out a List of what to do, the tools to use, the order in which to do – color-coded, of course –
but maybe there's comfort in company?
- LaceyKeigley
  
  March 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm
  
  Sally – i was thinking about you when I wrote this post.
  And how I am such a lousy accountability partner too.
  
  I guess there is comfort in company though.
  
  Now – what to do we do?
  Fell okay about ourselves or keep struggling toward change?
  - Sally
    
    March 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm
    
    For me, I need to keep struggling toward change. I feel certain of it.
    sincerely,
    your lousy accountability partner
seriousbethy

March 22, 2011 at 4:21 am

Yes, no, no, yes, maybe, yes uh . . . crap, what question number am I on?! Seriously Lacey, you remind me of myself and the way I analyze the cuss out of, well, everything! I feel like you're asking my own questions for me. That said, I obviously don't have answers for you. If it makes you feel any better, I LOVE your breakfast schedule and was just thinking this morning of stealing the idea for us.

I'm also laughing at all the organization apps you must have bought (or are itching to buy) on your new iPhone. I've got a couple of great ones I can't wait to show you.
- LaceyKeigley
  
  March 22, 2011 at 1:53 pm
  
  At least I know I am not alone!
  
  Steal away – I probably stole it from somewhere else myself.
  
  I have not yet downloaded any organizational apps although I have looked at a few – so, please, let me know which ones are worthwhile.
  
  Maybe we should let our iPhones have a playdate!

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14 Comments

Sherry

Jesse Wickstrum

Stacy Finnigan

LaceyKeigley

Terry

Gretchen

LaceyKeigley

shelley

LaceyKeigley

Sally

LaceyKeigley

Sally

seriousbethy

LaceyKeigley