Bergen Hawkeye,  HomeLife

small.

I  don’t like deboning chicken.

Who does?

(I don’t even think “deboning” should be a word, let alone a verb.)

But I like to ease the pain a little by telling myself,

with every slippery touch of the gnarly chicken bones,

this is love.

This is love.

This is what love looks like.

(It’s a mantra.  On rerun in my brain.)

But there are days.

Oh, there are days

when although I still believe that this is what love looks like

doing the small things with great love (thank you Mother Theresa)

I still feel

that

maybe

no one is listening.

No one is watching.

I feel

small.

Unimportant.

Forgotten.

Marginalized.

Pushed aside.

Less Than.

This motherhood gig.

It sort of stinks sometimes.

I feel taken advantage of,

taken for granted.

No yearly evaluations.

No pats on the back.

No bonus check at Christmas.

You know what I’m talking about?

You can be surrounded by tiny humans all day

and still find yourself

alone.

Now – don’t feel sorry for me.

Or send me “pep up” messages.

This really isn’t a sad post.

I don’t really live my life in this feeling.

And I know you don’t either.

But sometimes I camp out here for an afternoon.  Or two.

And I figure,

well,

maybe you do too.

18 Comments

  • Rachel

    I totally feel you. And I don't typically debone chicken, even though I prefer buying whole, locally-raised, organic, free-range chicken. I just find recipes where I can leave the bone in. I'm all about love, but I can skip the carnage. lol

    • LaceyKeigley

      Pass on those recipes.
      Of course – even after I leave the bone in I have to get the chicken off for leftovers – is there a way to avoid that?

  • Amanda

    this motherhood gig:) as I sit her typing, we are taking our morning homeschool break. I'm in my pjs eating chips while the kids tear the house up for our 15 minute break. I think now the reason i don't do alot of these post too is because im going to get THOSE comments from friends saying "oh keeping you in my thoughts and prayers" when really all i want to hear is a big…. amen!
    you have a lovely way of being REAL.

    so AMEN sister to this one! Im raising my bowl of chips to you now!

    • LaceyKeigley

      Spoken as one who has been there – as one who IS there.
      I will raise my bowl of chips in return. (Except I need to go to the grocery store – so maybe I'll raise that odd can of tuna or extra sleeve of crackers.)
      Thank you!

  • Amy

    sounds a little like marriage as well. Maybe we take those feelings and start looking for the little, behind the scenes actions that our kids and spouses do for us as well. It could be a sort of game we play – like Where's Waldo…. because sometimes thats just how difficult they are to see. But then when you find them, you have to smile because they're just so darn cute. just like Waldo.

  • nikkie

    so, if i chose not to debone chickens, but if i think of you while i am cleaning the toilet or tending to the nine hundreth load of laundry, is that ok?

    because, now i will for sure.

    and it helps to know we are not alone in the gig of motherhood…i agree completely.

    • LaceyKeigley

      Cleaning toilets and thinking of me?
      Sure.
      And laundry
      Of course.
      I guess I'll pretty much always be on your mind then – eh?

  • Rachel

    No "pep up" here – just empathy.

    And I only have one small being running around my life right now 🙂

    My husband actually said the other day he wishes he could give me a Christmas bonus. I thought it was sweet. And then I was bummed I wouldn't get one!!

    I have to debone a chicken this afternoon. I will think of you!

    • LaceyKeigley

      Ahh – that might just make my day.
      The idea of being thought of while you are deboning a chicken.
      Mission accomplished!
      ahhhahaha.