big benefits
“So how many of these children are yours?”
I hear that question almost every time I leave my home and venture forth into the world as we know it.
Grocery shopping takes more than an hour. (A lot more than an hour.)
In part because I have five young children with me.
Also in part because I am sorting through coupons, doing (very) slow mental math and calculating good deals.
And also in part because I am stopped frequently by strangers.
Yes, I know I look as if I am running a daycare. (I kind of am. I just make no income from said daycare and the students are in my care both night and day.)
Yes, I imagine we look a little bit like a circus when we trail through a grocery store, especially when I allow the children to push their own miniature carts behind me in a long train.
“I’ll pray for you” one man told me on our most recent grocery outing.
London particularly thought this was rather kind of the older gentleman.
Well. I hope he follows through.
Anyway.
Here’s where I’m heading.
A big family is a big family.
Obviously.
It’s a lot of people living and breathing and eating and sleeping and cleaning and playing together.
I am sure there are reasonable arguments against big families.
But here’s an argument for a big family.
Children in large families are learning an essential lesson from birth.
Life is not about you.
This idea does not have to be taught when you are child number four or six or ten.
It is inherent. Obvious in the daily structure of your life.
You are in a story.
And this story has a main character.
And you are not it.
Honestly,
aside from a saving knowledge of Christ,
that might be the single most important lesson I want my children to learn.
The world does not revolve around you.
I want my children to view service to others as a daily (hourly) act of the will.
As what you do because you are alive.
I like that living in a large family is one way for our kids to learn that
serving others is loving others.
That’s just how love looks.
And I like that I don’t have to work hard to contrive situations for our children to act out love in tangible, sometimes difficult, ways.
They have the opportunity every morning and afternoon and evening to lay down their own desires and to sacrifice for someone else.
They can be love (just as we all can be)
for those people surrounding them.
For those people who should matter most
(but sometimes don’t).
One another.
13 Comments
Anna C
This one. I think about this post all the time, because it's exactly what I want for my children. I only have one little baby so far and only God knows how many others we'll get, but I want to do everything possible to raise her in this kind of environment.
LaceyKeigley
Oh my goodness.
That phrase, "Are you showing love to your sister/brother right now?' is on replay at our house too.
And I constantly wonder if any of my children are getting this message.
Oh Allie – why don't we hang out in real life some time soon?
Allie Pust
Love it! I want gobs of kids too. =) I think I say "Are you showing love by serving your sister/brother or are you being selfish?" or "How can you show love to others, how can you prefer sister/brother more than yourself?" ALL DAY LONG. And sometimes I wonder if all this consistency is worth it. If it's sinking in. Thanks for the perspective. Helps me in the mundane of today!
Gretchen
I agree, the world does not revolve around me! 🙂 Oh how I could have benefited from living in a larger family. 🙂
Julie
Needed this today. I've been on that emotional roller coaster we call real life the last few days, and I am blessed with the reminder that God is God and I am not – and that it is His story that I am playing a "chorus" role in. Thanks, sweet friend. See you next weekend??
LaceyKeigley
I am so glad this helped you in any way.
That is continually humbling to me.
And yes- I will see you next weekend!!
nikkie
yep, yep. and i am learning with them along the way, too.
LaceyKeigley
Oh I know.
The lessons always go both ways.
shelley
Oh yes! I couldn't have said it better myself. Definitely couldn't have said it better : ) !! You have spoken my heart on the matter of big families. Beautiful post.
laceykeigley
Thank you!
Rachel
Being infertile, and having to build our family through expensive means, I would say you are one blessed woman and one blessed family. I have always wanted a large family (and God may yet provide that for us, who knows?), but am currently at one child. I fear if he is it, it will be a HUGE mountain to overcome to teach him the same Truths that will flow naturally into your children.
Enjoy your large family, and proudly proclaim that yes, each of these is mine!! You are so blessed, even on days when it doesn't feel like it!
LaceyKeigley
Thank you Rachel.
It is a good reminder to me to be grateful for those blessings.
And although it might be easier for my kids to naturally learn they are not the center of the universe, I am confident that you can teach your son (and hopefully future children) the same truth through your diligent parenting and love of the same truths yourself!
This way I have is just one way – not the only way.
I\’m so glad you keep reading over here. It means so much!
Riley G
This is soooo good!!