my diet
Disappointment is my daily bread.
Yes.
You guessed it.
This post might just be a downer.
Click somewhere else if you want.
I’ll never know.
But today . . .
I don’t have anything to offer.
No weird vomit tale with which to regale you.
No everything is spiritual epiphany.
Only a ranting.
I just don’t feel like suffering in silence today.
That’s all.
It’s seems I keep moving back over to that edge.
On the verge of tears
almost always.
Sure – for big reasons.
And for smaller ones too.
It just seems lately that I fall asleep to disappointment
and
then I wake up to disappointment.
It sits on my shoulders and burdens my heart.
It’s heavy.
Disappointment is my daily bread.
And the taste is bitter.
Sure.
I know all about the good.
I’ve been grateful.
I know how to look for the positive.
I live there too.
But I won’t pretend that it isn’t a battle.
I won’t deny that I am in a war.
And it’s a struggle.
And
despite the beautiful blessings of six funny little crooked arrows whom I deeply love and am passionate about raising
I focus on the worst
some days.
Because I want to.
Because I choose to.
Because it seems too hard
to do
anything else.
12 Comments
mustangbebo
Good to know I'm not alone… http://www.soeveryday.com/2010/06/15/my-diet/
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tlw
"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11. You sent this to me a while ago. I'm certainly not in mourning any longer, but when I get disappointed or frustrated I try to stay focused on the dancing and joyful parts. It's helped a lot. Thank you.
laceykeigley
Yes.
Changing focus.
Why is that so hard for me?
Thank you.
Beth M.
l know. oh, how i know how you feel. i love you lacey. one day at a time.
laceykeigley
I know you do.
I know you do.
Gretchen
I hope your day gets better. Love you! G
laceykeigley
thank G – not a horrible day, exactly.
you know.
nikkie
i agree. it's a struggle for sure.
for. sure.
hang in.
i'm praying, today.
Melissa Ann
Hop on over to aholyexperience.com join her Gratitude Community. It'll help (though not cure) disappointment 🙂 I really enjoy your blog, Lacey 🙂
laceykeigley
Oh thanks so much Melissa.
I just realized you had a blog and spent the last many minutes reading it – cannot believe how grown and adorable your girls are. So beautiful.
And I just glanced over the other blog you suggested and know I will spend some more time reading that this evening.
Thanks!