it sure is a good thing
This is what London said to me once . . .
“Mom. It sure is a good thing you have so many kids. They can help you do all these chores.”
What I thought but did not say in response –
Yeah.
That’s right, London.
And the reason I have all these chores is because I have all these kids.
I did not say that.
I did not say that because six-year-old children do not generally interpret sarcasm well.
But maybe, just maybe, that little London gal is on to something after all.
Here’s two ways I think I can secretly (well, not now, of course) get away with using my children to my advantage.
Way One.
A purse with legs.
You know – having a lot of children often means I have a lot of stuff I have to carry around with me.
So – here’s how this can work.
Hey Bergen, you be in charge of Mommy’s cell phone, okay? Just stick that in your pocket and let me know if it makes a sound. Good job.
Mosely – you’re in charge of the keys. Hook them on your pants loop just so and off we go. Nice.
You’ve got some extra pockets there Kid Number Two. Stash these wipes, diapers and granola bars somewhere on your three foot self, would ya’? Great.
Did you know that they make kid-sized backpacks?
Well. They do. So now you know.
My friend doesn’t even carry a diaper bag anymore. It’s true. She just bought a kid-sized backpack and convinced her son to carry everything on his back instead – like a little pack horse. Cute and serviceable. Come on – you know it’s adorable on a four-year-old. Seriously. And he’s walking around the mall toting the family’s snacks, extra changes of clothes and various toys and crayons. Genius, I say.
I mean, really – most of the stuff we lug around is for our kids anyway.
Why shouldn’t they carry their weight a little more often?
They don’t even know they’re being used. They don’t even care, I tell you. They think it’s a game.
But you have to make the most of it when they’re young. They won’t do this when they’re sixteen. Trust me, I am trying. And they should really, you know. Riley’s much stronger. Sturdier too. Better built for the long haul, right?
Way Two.
As a napkin.
A traveling napkin.
Hey there Little Willow, your shirt is already dirty, what’s a little chocolate going to hurt?
In fact, your shirt is brown and has recently been splashed with your own serving of rainbow-colored ice cream. I hardly think you’ll notice when I smear my chocolately fingers on your back. I mean, I would grab the wipes but London is walking pretty far ahead of me.
Seriously.
I don’t normally ask for responses, but surely you guys are guilty creative parents as well.
For what other purposes can our kids be of assistance?
8 Comments
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Micah Taylor
I grew up in a family with 4 kids. My mom typically used us as a menu sampler.
When the waiter would ask for our order, my mom's response typically went something like this:
"Well, the burger looks great… Micah will have that, Hannah would like the chicken, Autumn will have the House salad, and Emily will take… Emily what do you want? I think you want shrimp, ok, the shrimp for her. Oh me? No, I'm not ordering anything."
laceykeigley
Shoot – I have been getting this one wrong for years. I keep sharing with them whatever I ordered. Now I know to order what I want for them and eat their food. Good. Can’t wait to dine out again.
Crystal
I agree with London – I always tell Mom that! She sees it now that all seven of us are out of the house – it was great to have little gardeners, cleaners, cooks, etc! Of course, I'm leaving out the fact that we were and still are a big reason she does all this. 🙂
We're not at the point of having Nate carry his own backpack yet (great idea though), but I've certainly been happy to have him cry in the store and low and behold, everyone pushes me to the front of the line! It appears no one wants to hear his little screeching.
laceykeigley
That’s funny.
And who would have ever thought I would have nearly as many children as your family.
And little Nate?? Oh man – I haven’t even seen pictures.
Can this be remedied?
Crystal
I don't have your email address. Horrible, I know. If you have mine, send me a note and I'll definitely fix that. I tried writing Kevin a while back to get your email address but guess he didn't get it.
Cindy
When you school at home, they make really good teacher's aides….especially when the teacher doesn't know…."whatever"…., but the older sibling does!! This is especially useful with "higher math".
laceykeigley
Yes – very true.
And higher math? Uh – that makes my skin crawl already.