This Circus

Tell me the truth, am I the only one who feels like life with small children is more often a circus than anything else?

Do these things happen only at our house?

At your house do reusable silicone muffin wrappers fall out of your washing machine when you open the door?

Do you walk into the kitchen to discover your toddler surrounded by piles of cornmeal, of which she is shoving into her mouth? And when you ask her what she is eating does she reply, “powder”?

Do children sing Michael Jackson’s “Will You Be There?” with your husband while dancing around the kitchen using antique wooden rolling pins as microphones?

Does your two-year-old daughter absolutely refuse to take any bath sitting down?

During dinner at your place does it appear that the dining room chairs are on fire or something else equally alarming, causing your four-year-old to continually hop out of his seat despite constant reminders to stay seated?

Does silverware steadily drop to the floor during every meal together?

Do you have to put a feature length film in the DVD player to ensure a few quiet moments to chat with your husband?

And finally, do you ever enter the bathroom at your house, only to discover a urine soaked floor and upon inquiring of your children who is guilty of causing such an unfortunate disaster you get this confession and explanation – “It was me Mommy. I couldn’t help it. My penis was backwards.”