a funny story because we need a little funny, am I right?

Who needs something funny today?

Okay – I need something funny.

Here.

A funny blog post.

_____

Last weekend I did something out of the ordinary.  Something kind of crazy.  Something I haven’t done in a very long time.

I went to the …….

mall!

I know.  I know.  It is completely out of character for me.

But I needed a (ugh and sigh) bathing suit and I wanted to try on the ones offered at the Land’s End section in Sears.

My friend Hilary went with me.

(Actually – we had a great time together.  We got trapped in that violently bright, over cluttered, monstrosity that is labeled “Forever 21”  But we escaped with only fifteen or so impulse buys.  Kidding.  Kidding.  But seriously – around every corner it would be like – tank tops – $1.90.  Leggings – $3.90.  Headbands – $3.90.  And who does not need more leggings and tank tops?)

Anyway – that’s not even the funny part of this story.

I never go to the mall.  That fact used to plague my daughter Riley who thought that mall shopping was the height of teenage Saturdays.

I don’t like the stores.  The people.  The lights.  The posters.  The everything.  (Except the pretzel bites.  I like the pretzel bites.)

So we go to Land’s End first.  Try on several bathing suits.  Surprise myself that I actually like more than one.  Options.  How fun is that?

Debate buying two because they are on sale but then groan at the price two Land’s End bathing suits would be.  Even on sale.

Decide on one – black and white design and hopefully I’ll still like it poolside and beach side (if I ever reach beach side this summer – crossing my fingers).

Pull out the card to make the purchase.  The card that earns me bonus rewards and free stuff, you know.

Pay for my purchases.  Get sidetracked with Hilary at jackets and kids clearance racks .

We haven’t even left the store yet when my phone alerts me in its pleasant manner to a new text.

I glance at the screen.

FRAUD ALERT.  My phone is screaming at me.

Possible fraud alert at Haywood Mall.  Your card was used to make a purchase at Sear’s a few minutes ago.  If this was you, please reply with a 1.  If this was fraud, please respond with a 2.

Hilarious.

We are still standing in Sear’s and even my credit card company knows – hey, this girl doesn’t belong at the mall.  Someone has stolen her identity!