gasp!

That’s the sound of me, surfacing.

Coming up for air.

I like full days and fun adventure.

But I don’t care for hectic at breakneck paces.

And for some reason, the past four or five days have felt more breakneck pace than anything else.

Filled with the good – visits from faithful college buddies turned lifelong friends, unexpected fireworks in the yard to celebrate life and evenings and friendships, school days with good attitudes, digging of earth to plant something, community with friends.

Sprinkled with the frustrating – relentless rain for four days, soggy earth, two pregnant cats, heavy traffic while running endless errands, seriously broken dryer, struggles with obedience with one handsome fellow, flooded toilet.

The crushing feeling of Never Having Time Enough.

To-do list lengthy and self-imposed guilt rampant.

But, still, grateful to be Here.

Thrilled and horrified to watch my daughter come home celebrating her last day of high school classes ever!

Long, soft-spoken, under the cover of darkness in the quiet of a sleeping house, conversations with Kevin about how to navigate the muddy muddy waters between nurturing a young adult and letting her make her own life choices.

Gasp!

In between the sleeping and the waking.

In the middle of The Now and The Then.

At the foot of the hill.

On the edge of a cliff.

In the dark before the light.

At the top of the mountain.

On the long walk down.

That’s where I am.