I don’t know.
I don’t actually feel like writing this post.
Do you ever have topics like that?
Ideas you know you need to discuss, but would prefer to avoid?
Problems you know exist, but it would be so much simpler to bury your head in the sand and hope that while you’re down there, the problem would disappear?
That’s how I feel right now.
Although I’ve been writing on this little blog for a long time now, I am still not particularly blog savvy.
Especially in the area of web traffic and search engines and self-promotion.
I don’t really stress a lot about that or pay a lot of attention to those finer details.
But recently I decided to look over a feature on my wordpress page that allows me to see the searches people use to stumble across the blog.
You probably know all about this feature.
I have rarely looked at it.
Until this evening.
When I noticed a surprising number of viewers finding this blog through searches that involve the words “naked” and “boys” and other frightening combinations.
Just typing that makes my stomach lurch.
I mean, in comparison to other phrases used, the numbers are low, I guess.
But, uh, even one search is one too many for me.
And it was more than once.
Being the extremist that I can sometimes be, my first response was to set the computer on fire and alert a rally cry to defeat the internet entirely.
And then I told Kevin we need to sell everything we own, move to an undisclosed deserted location and jump completely off the grid.
I will smash my iPhone and grow my own cucumbers and make clothing out of rabbit’s hair.
I don’t know.
What should I do?
What should anyone do?
It’s paralyzing.
The fear. The possibility. The danger.
It’s revolting.
The real life stories. The detestable truths. The ghastly depravation of the human soul.
And we have tried to be safe in so many areas.
We monitor our oldest daughter’s facebook regularly.
Our younger children are almost never allowed online at all, and never without a grown up looking over their shoulder as they sign up their new Webkinz pets.
There’s a password on the Mac and it sits in the living room with no private access.
Even our seventeen-year-old is not allowed free reign.
But here I am.
Typing up funny stories and sharing cute pictures and plastering my kids’ beautiful faces on this unknown medium.
My mouth agape.
My fingers dangling.
Should I continue?
What is the risk?
What is the difference between being cautious and being crazy?
Is it all or nothing?
If there is a happy medium – what does it look like?
And can I get to that or is it too late?
What do you do, fellow blog writers and blog readers?
What do you say?
20 Comments
Allie P
Hey Lacey, I totally agree with Rachel. I'm sure you're struggling with continuing this "ministry" you have on your blog, and your commitment to raise your family as safely as possible. All of your faithful readers would totally understand the actions you may have to take to keep your little ones safe. But I want to echo Rachel, your honesty, in the fun and the not so fun, points us to grace. It's beautiful the way it is, it's refreshing to know someone else out there has the same kind of life I do, struggles with the same things. So we all hate to see it change, but we all love you and your kiddos, so we're behind you no matter what. Praying for you as you figure it out!!
Rachel
I am not a mother, so take what I write with a grain of salt. That being said, I love your blog and your pictures. I guess maybe when I was like 6 years old I might actually have known you, but I really don't have any concept of you outside of this site (and your updates on facebook when they fall in my newsfeed). Anyway, I read your blog because it reminds me of the beauty of life and how pursuing God looks (for you, at least). I love your honesty and openness. And, I hope that in spite of the horrible things that some people do, you don't let those horrible things change the good things you are doing. It is nice to read what you write and see the pictures you post, and I find it inspiring. Your page helps remind me of how important it is to pursue God and what the blessings are when that happens. So, I hope you don't change because of the bad things out there.
Allison
I have a blog too (who doesn't, right?). I decided from the start to never post pics of my kids anywhere on the internet unless they were passworded. I have succeeded in doing that because my job as a mom is to keep my kids safe. I cannot know how many perverts are out there and what they are searching for and why and when. They are sick and diseased and I couldn't sleep at night thinking some of them found my blog and were doing disgusting things while looking at innocent pics of my children. You know, JUST words makes it more challenging. I call my blog my "word scrapbook". My daughter has a family blog where she posts tons of pics but it is passworded and for family members only w/ strict instructions to not give out the password. So that's how I deal w/ all of this. I err on the side of caution because it's my children at stake. I also don't take pics of our house so no one could identify it even if they tried. Some people would say that I'm being ridiculous but I say that you can't take back something terrible if it happens. I'd rather be TOO sheltering than not enough.
Delynda
Lacy, the worst part of all this is that we are actually having to have this conversation. I have no answers for you because this has been the one place that I can see my grandkids everyday if their parents choose to post pictures. I mean, we live 2.5 hours away and this is our ONLY lifeline some days when we miss each other desperately!!!!! So it stinks that we even have to think about this and/or converse about it. But, as we prepare to move north again, closer to the grandkids…so they can come visit, I can say that I have spent hours now looking at crime reports and SEX OFFENDER records on the town newspaper where we are moving to try to ensure that our soon to be much more frequent visits are "safe". Seriously….so, this is our world. And I don't really like it. 'nuf said.
Sarah Finnigan
It would absolutely be a terrible thing not to put the faces of such beautiful children on this blog…especially that little Otto! Just kidding, the safety of those children must come first, but I do enjoying seeing their little faces.
Sarah
nikkie
i wish i knew.
i wrestle with the same thoughts.
some days it's more of a 'seriously? who searches that kind of garbage?' and others I say 'i'm shutting down the blog completely!'
so, i don't have an answer, but i do know that i struggle too. and i worry as well.
yet, i keep writing in a public forum for all the world to see.
i'm pondering with you on this one. let me know if you come up with any great ideas.
abbeyq
I don't know either. I have to use initials on the boys since they are in foster care. But your blog is a ministry…and u have go be willing to put yourself out there,,,but u don't want to do it at the risk of your kids….it's a tough balance,…stupid sinful world
LaceyKeigley
Thanks Abbey.
I don't always think of my blog as a ministry. That mindset actually helps me a little – because there is risk involved there.
But how much? That is the balance.
I did go back through old posts and try to remove some stuff and I will have to just pray what to do in the future.
LaceyKeigley
yeah.
stupid sinful world.
Maggie
I am at work reading this with tears in my eyes and a knot in my stomach.
Those people are out there and you don't know where they are or who they are. It is scary. It is down right scary. Mike and I have delt with a situation like this in our church. Besides the home THAT should be the safest place out there!
Now that we have been married for a while and kids seem closer in our future than further, I take what you just written about into consideration. Can we shelter them enough with out turning them in to wierd kids? Will I unknowingly turn a blind eye and they get hurt!? Do we even want to bring children in this unsafe world?
Like Sally said, there is no easy answer.
I will move with you to the plains… I am good at catching rabbits. We can make an underground kiln and make our own potts.
LaceyKeigley
I bet out pots would be beautiful.
Well, yours would be.
It is scary – and it is so heart breaking that the church is no safer than any other place. We know lots of stories like that. It takes continual effort to choose to love the world and the broken people in it – I guess just continually reminding ourselves of our own broken places.
And – if you and Mike do decide to have babies – they will be beautiful and loved and so worth the frightening stuff.
Meghan
I know some hosting sites allow you to disable search engines…that way your blog or its content won't show up on keyword searches… and the options Sally listed too are the only ones I know about. I post about my children but have the search engine option disabled and I can usually track my hits back to a comment on a another blog or a link-up.
LaceyKeigley
The search engine blocking – I love that idea.
Would you send me that information.
Thanks so much.
akirkley
Post a blog about that. I'd like to know about it as well.
Meghan
If you use Blogger to host:
From your dashboard: Choose "Settings" , Under the "Basic" tab, there are two places to choose "no" in a drop box. The first question is "Add your blog to our listing?" (which includes it on the google blog listings) and the second question is "Let search engines find your blog?". Then choose to "save settings" at the bottom of the page. You can also choose "no" to letting others email your posts out, and "no" to offering a translation option for foreign languages on this page.
I will look into WordPress and see where it is there… I've also heard there is a way to disable right clicking so pictures and content can't be copied of your site, so I'll check on that too!
Meghan
ok, on WordPress… log in, choose "Settings" then choose "Privacy" and click the button for "Block search engines but allow normal users" and that should take it out of the search capacity.
LaceyKeigley
Thank you.
I have tried this so I can experiment, but when I tried to test it by googling the blog myself it still comes up.
What exactly does blocking the search engines mean?
Meghan
I think it only disables it from the keyword searches, not by the blog title. So your blog shouldn't come up when someone searches for "young boys" but will probably still come up if they search "so every day"…. at least, that's my limited understanding of it.
Sally
I don't know I mean, there are lots of bloggers out there who don't post pictures at all of their kids, but then some who add only shots where their faces don't show. Those who use code names or initials. Others go private, allowing only registered visitors to see the site. Some have a public blog, then a private one for all the good stuff 😉
That's a hard question.
No easy answer.
LaceyKeigley
The initials and the non-face photos would have probably been a great option.
But it's a little late for that now- right?
Plus, honestly, I don't know if I know how to write without just all of me out there. Does that make sense?
Sigh.